Ire Part 3

Read Part 1 & 2

Part 3

“I aborted the child.”

Arjun swayed as he felt hit by a metal rod right next to his temples. A still, eery silence filled the room as Ayesha gasped and held on to her husband who blink repeatedly, sure that he was mistaken at what he heard.

“Sakshi.” Arjun’s voice came oddly hoarse as he spoke. To everyone’s astonishment he began laughing “You are punishing me right? Because I mistreated you?” Arjun yanked her shoulders and held her against him in a tight embrace.

“You are punishing me…” Arjun croaked and cupped her face “Tum aisa kar hi nahi sakti kyunki tumse kuch ghalat hota hi nahi hai Sakshi! You’re my angel… angels don’t do mistakes.” Arjun scratched his head.

He turned back to a horrified Sameer and laughed “Tere shakal pe baara kyu baja hai? I know her, she hasn’t killed our baby. She loves us, she’s testing me! Tell her to end this joke now… please Sam. I know you were upset with me but please do me this one favour.” Arjun pleaded as Sameer cried in silence watching Arjun’s despair.

Arjun kissed Sakshi’s wrist and spoke “I never loved you enough na? That’s why you’re punishing me right? Everything will be fine Sakshi. I’ll do anything for you.” He wiped his tears aside and brought out an envelope “Sakshi, I got our honeymoon tickets! We’re going to Musoorie, tumhe pahari jagah acche lagte hai na? I also called up the interior decorator, our house will be designed the way you wanted it! Full of colours and lights. I won’t do any mistake now Sakshi. We’ll go to films regularly, every Friday I’ll take you out. You like shopping don’t you? We’ll go for shopping every other weekend. I’ll be the best husband Sakshi.” Arjun begged as Sakshi cried and gripped the sofa handle.

“Ayesha! Why isn’t she believing me? Aye, Sakshi… trust me. Don’t play with me. Tell me our baby is alive.” Arjun caressed her stomach while Sakshi screamed.

“Mazaak! Zindagi ne mujhe ek mazaak banake rakh diya hai Arjun aur tum keh rahe ho ke main tumhare saath khel rahi hoon! Damn it! What did I want from you? Nothing… I never wanted anything… I screamed that I love you more than anything! I killed my own child to love you so as to we can stay together happily aur ab tumhara akkal thikaane pe aa raha hai?” Sakshi crumpled into the floor and howled.

“Our baby is alive.” Arjun whispered while Sakshi shook her head and quaked “No… I killed my baby. It’s not there… nothing is there in me now.”

Arjun wiped Sakshi’s tears and whispered “I love you Sakshi. I am sorry… Sakshi. Tell me na that you’re lying.”

“Why should I lie?” Sakshi fought the urge to collapse and gripped the lapels of his jacket “I never lied on the fact that I loved you, that you are my first priority, that you are the Sun of my universe, that you are the reason I exist! Arjun hai toh Sakshi rahega… agar Arjun nahi toh Sakshi ka kya astitva hai? Bolo!” Sakshi shook the daylights out of Arjun as she screamed.

“Problem is not with the fact that I say the truth, problem is that you don’t believe that I say the truth!” Sakshi paused to take a deep breath. Arjun gulped, he went on his knees and wrapped his arms around her hips “Please, I love you Sakshi. You love me too, you can’t kill the symbol of our love… you aren’t Arjun.”

Sakshi freed herself from Arjun and collapsed on the floor, hugging herself “What should I do for you? IF I LOVE YOU THEN I MUST KILL THE CHILD! THEN IF I LOVE YOU, I MUST NOT KILL THE CHILD! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!” Sakshi howled and curled on the marble floor while Arjun looked at her in bloodshot eyes.

“I am tired… very tired.” Sakshi gulped and tried to stand up when Arjun found a blood splotch on her trousers. Sakshi held her head as she swayed in her steps, to be safely cocooned in Ayesha’s arms.

“Blood.” Arjun whispered and Ayesha’s eyes darted to Sakshi’s trousers.

~*~

“It’s normal? Are you sure ma’am? Any tablets.. no, the bleeding isn’t as heavy as chums, just a slight patch of blood. Yeah please do send the tablet’s name via sms. Thank you.” Ayesha wrote a name in a piece of paper and handed it over to Sameer who rushed off.

Arjun stared at a pale form of his wife. Her white skin contrasted sharply against the burgundy sheets she lay on. He heard nothing, just a deafening silence… if that was possible. Ayesha stepped back as a haunted Arjun tread towards Sakshi, with a gentle yet firm push he waved Ayesha away and sat on the edge of the bed.

Arjun traced the hollows of Sakshi’s eyes and brushed his knuckles against her sunken cheeks. She almost seemed to have aged terribly overnight. The glow on his young wife’s face had faded and worry lines had etched her one beautiful face.

“I destroyed her.” A hoarse whisper disturbed Ayesha’s trail of thoughts and she focused her gaze on Arjun who fingered the mangalsutra dangling on her neck.

“You didn’t.” Ayesha placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as Arjun shook his head in denial to what Ayesha said. “No matter what I do to protect us, protect our marriage - it is at the end of the day MY fault due to which we are where we are today. I pretty much ended up screwing things when they were perfect na?” Arjun passed a weak smile to Ayesha and went back to caressing Sakshi.

“She’s so beautiful when she sleeps. You see the way she tilts her head to the left side? She’s an angel, the most beautiful one. Did you know I never slept on my first night? I just kept looking at her. I love her… but I don’t know what makes her love me.” Ayesha’s ears perked up on his last words.

“What made her love a man who ruined her every dream?” Hot tears fell against his bristled cheek as he slammed his hand on the bed. Ayesha was speechless when Arjun walked towards their closet and removed stacks on photographs from a drawer.

He spread Sakshi’s photographs on the bed and made Ayesha sit on the bed. “Look at her, young, wonderful and so vivacious. Do you see her sparkling eyes? I don’t know what I had deserved to have found her looking like that towards me. Full of love and admiration.” He barely acknowledged his tears as he rummaged through the photographs and picked out the one where she was decked as a bride.

“She looked no less than a princess, her eyes held so many unsaid wishes. So many dreams. A hope of finding happiness and true love.” Arjun took a deep breath and clutched Sakshi’s bony fingers.

“Look at her, now. What have I done to her? No woman in this world deserves a husband who is tamed by sex… no no don’t look apalled Ayesha. I heard what you said to her. That she can’t use the act to be a catalyst for my anger. Shameless as I am, everytime I did confirm to her that yes, it wasn’t her please, her desperations, my love for her, her concern nor the emotional bond between us which calmed me. It was just sex. As simple and horrible it sounds.” Arjun massaged the sore spots of his temples and looked at Ayesha who tried to say something.

“You both knew it… you knew it right that our marriage won’t last? You are bloody right about that… because the matter isn’t just Sakshi - it’s that NO one deserves a husband like me. Yes I love Sakshi but then what did I give her back? I blackmailed her into aborting our own baby. I even accused her of not loving me enough both the times!” Arjun gulped.

“I need to leave her Ayesha… I need to leave her.” Arjun shook his head vigorously and packed his clothes into a bag.

“Arjun she has done all this! She needs you and loves you! You can’t be selfish!” Ayesha yanked his collar and found herself facing an angry Arjun. “No woman needs to prove how much she loves her man.” Arjun whispered while Ayesha negated his answer.

“No Ar…” “Ayesha, would you be able to live with Sameer if he was like me. Be honest.” Arjun crossed his arms and smirked as Ayesha’s mouth left open, unable to utter a word further.

“You don’t get it… I love Sakshi, too much for her own good. Roshni may or may not have died because of me, but Sakshi will.” With that Arjun paced out of the bedroom with his backpack and cell.

He paused for a moment and turned back “Tell my love that I wasn’t upset with her. She is my life. I am alive today only because of Sakshi… I love her.”

“No Arjun, you both love each other… why are you doing this to yourself and her? Why!” Ayesha placed her hand on her hips while Arjun gave a sad smile.

“The Earth depends on the Sun right?” “Arjun how is this relat…”

“Answer me Ayesha.”

Ayesha scratched her head and nodded.

“What would happen if the Sun collides with the Earth in an attempt to get closer to it?” Arjun whispered while Ayesha’s mouth fell open.

“I know, just destruction…” Arjun’s shoulders slumped as he took a few steps towards Sakshi and pressed a firm kiss on her lips “I love you jaan.” He whispered.

Ayesha bit back a sob as Arjun walked away.

~*~

“Hi dear.”

A warm voice stirred Sakshi out of her deep sleep.

“Rise and shine dear.”

Sakshi’s eyelids fluttered as she tried to take in the surroundings. The minute she opened her eyes she knew one thing, there was a vacuum in the room. As Sakshi jerked up a man gentled her and tucked a pillow under her aching back.

“Are you fine?” Sakshi looked at the man who bestowed a kind smile on her and patted her cheek with a brotherly touch.

“Shubraneel, you can also call me Neel.” Sakshi stared at the door, a dull ache settled on her heart as her fears were confirmed. Her husband left again,

Escapist.

The rest of the words fell on deaf ears and Sakshi let herself embrace the growing darkness.

~*~

“Just as expected, Sakshi is not responding to me. I don’t think she will respond to anything.” Neel sighed as Sameer’s eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Can you give me Arjun’s number?” Neel asked as he settled himself on the sofa.

“He won’t answer and moreover even I am inclined to agree that actually he isn’t the best choice for Sakshi.” Sameer looked at Neel in shock who threw a glass right next to Sameer.

“NEEL!” Sameer shrieked while Ayesha pulled away Sameer.

“And you get prizes for being the effing best friend in this world.”

“No one is right for anyone in this world, people are never perfect - relationships are. You know what, you are right. Arjun is a poor judge of character and making you his best friend proved that.” Neel scratched his jaw and placed his hands on his hips.

“Before either of you complain or glare at me let me clarify myself. Listen you have had a normal life. Happy parents, a sweet wife and great career. Now that doesn’t give you the right to judge a person whose life is something you have never experienced. You love and care for Sakshi - I understand… but let me tell you that even Sakshi isn’t normal now. So instead of harbouring notions for either of the couple let us just sit and think on what to do for them.” Neel raised an eyebrow as Sameer shot an apologetic look.

“The equation is this, he is obsessed with her and she loves him obsessively. He is right in thinking that his aggressive attitude may end up in Sakshi’s death. But tell me, have you ever noted signs of physical abuse on Sakshi - if that’s there then I really need to isolate Arjun and have a tete a tete with him.” Neel scribbled on his notepad as Sameer and Ayesha told whatever bits of the relationship of Arjun and Sakshi.

“I hope Arjun doesn’t commit suicide, he can’t seem to live without Sakshi and I have no reason as to why he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Neel sighed while Sameer’s eyes widened.

“Oh God! Neel call up Arjun, do something! OH shit, Ayesha… call up Shree and ask him to keep a tab on Arjun’s cell, I’ll ask Chotu to get a roundup done ASAP. Can you contact that traffic police friend of yours? Neel why are you staring at me!” Sameer cursed a ‘damn it’ when Neel was smiling at him.

“You are tensed?”

“Why shouldn’t I be tensed! Over there Arjun can do anything and I may be a bad friend and whatever but if Arjun does something to himself then I can’t forgive myself ever!” Sammer clenched his eyes shut, he knew his friend could go up to any extent and he had never extended a hand to Arjun after Roshni’s death.

“You feel bad don’t you? You still think you were biased because Roshni was related to you. You still think that if you had intervened then it wouldn’t have been a sad matter today.” Neel placed a hand on Sameer’s sagged shoulders.

“Yes..” Ayesha whispered Sameer’s answer to Neel.

“Neel forget about me and please find Arjun.” Sameer took in large gulps of air while Neel shook his head and laughed “I already know where he is, and he speaks to me because I told him that I’ll keep him updated on Sakshi’s health.”

“Tt..then?” Sameer frowned.

“Look at you, paranoid… scared… almost on the verge of doing anything to keep your friend safe. You were with this fear for just five minutes and it has got you hassled, he’s been living this fear since years.” Sammer’s face broke into a smile as realization dawned on him.

“Th…”

“You are welcome.” Neel passed a toothy smile.

Ayesha helped herself with a glass of juice and went into Sakshi’s room. She gently patted her hair and sighed. Two people are hopelessly in love yet they aren’t being able to be with each other. Why?

Such unnecessary complications.

~*~

Arjun checked his phone for the fifth time to find no new notification. Damn it! Neel was supposed to update him on Sakshi’s health.

He threw the empty juice packet into to bin and shuffled his feet.

“Escapist Arjun…” A voice called out to him and he found his father staring at him. Blood drained out of Arjun’s face as he recognized the tone of happiness in him.

“How dare you…” Arjun whispered while his father shrugged his shoulders and smiled “Well you did exactly what I have been wanting since day one. You got your baby killed and you left your wife to die.”

“Why?” Arjun cried out;

“Why Sakshi? Why my child? What do you have to do with us! She’s a poor innocent soul!” Arjun bent on his knees “Please, spare me and my Sakshi from further torture!”

“Oh my dear son, I almost feel sympathetic for you! I have nothing to do with Sakshi, it’s only you with whom I am concerned. Now that you have ruined yourself in the way I wanted you to be - a filthy scum piece of your mother that you are - I find eternal peace.” His father cocked an eyebrow and laughed.

“You win when you think I have separated from my wife?” Arjun gaped at his father.

“Oh you bloody well played into your trouble so wonderfully!” His father smoothened the collar of his shirt while Arjun cursed.

“I won’t… I won’t let you win. I will be with her and take care of her. I will love her the way I do. I will make her my queen, my world.”

“Boring words son, you don’t have to guts.” Suryakant yawned while Arjun’s eyes glazed in anger. “You wait and watch!” Arjun spat in disgust, his train ticket lying somewhere forgotten on the dusty platform.

Onlookers were surprised to have found a man speaking angrily to his shadow. Little did they know what the conversation was.

Little did Arjun know that his father, even though he was a part of Arjun, had helped him.

~*~

Surprise

Relief

Bemused

The three looks which were shot to Arjun the minute he stepped into his apartment. Sameer had surprised Arjun by engulfing him in a bear hug while Ayesha patted his shoulder with fondness. Neel however smiled with a sense of victory.

Arjun was too preoccupied to have contemplated Neel’s facial expression as he headed towards his bedroom.

“She’s awake.” Ayesha whispered and gently closed the door, giving the couple the much needed privacy. Arjun shrugged off his jacket and his shoes and socks followed suit.

He crawled on their bed and cupped her cheek, a stinging pain seeped his heart when she flinched at his touch and gazed at him. “I love you… I…”

The words coming out of his mouth died when he stared into her glassy eyes.

They were as empty as her womb,

They had no emotions in them.

Arjun’s throat was clogged with emotions as he tried to caress her.

He still remembered a few words which Neel had told him;

“If you love her, show her you do. Let your actions speak for you.”

With possessiveness coursing through his veins he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, while Sakshi sighed and turned aside.

“I am not leaving you Sakshi.” Arjun whispered in her ear, her body screamed fear at his departure and he made sure she believed him.

“I know I have not given you any reason to trust me but I do know that I am a capable husband.” Arjun smiled as surprise registered on her face.

“Why love? Didn’t you always say that I am a good man? Maybe it is time that the good man in me is out more than the possessed lover.” Arjun laughed while Sakshi just stared at him.

The laughter went away as quickly as it came, a serious look came on his face when his hand slipped between her clothed thighs and brushed her intimately “Anymore bleeding?” Arjun asked while Sakshi whispered an inaudible no.

Arjun cradled Sakshi in his arms and soothed her, for the first time is ability to keep a mask came in use. He wanted Sakshi to look upto him as her man.

Strong, sensitive and loveable. He didn’t let her feel the pain that stung him when Sakshi refused to have a conversation with him.

He didn’t let her feel that he was exhausted and pained, death almost seemed like a beautiful escape but then he would stay with her.

Even if it meant that her silence would punish him to an extent where he wanted to wound himself till he felt no pain.

He felt disgust on himself, playing the victim each and every single time.

He bent down to find accusation written on Sakshi’s face as she tried to wriggle out of his hold. Accusation that it was just sympathy and guilt which made him want her so suddenly.

“I do love you and I know that even you love me.” Arjun smiled weakly and wiped the tear escaping through the fine lines near his eyes.

Would this be their life? Silent, quiet, uncommunicative?

Arjun’s hands shook slightly as he found himself to be lacking the strength he showed to her. Sakshi pushed his arms away, slightly, and to her surprise Arjun scooted away. She clutched her blanket and stared at him while he gave a small sad smile.

“You don’t want me, next to you?”

“Of course I do.” the answer was at the tip of her tongue yet she didn’t find her voicing her thoughts.

She looked up as he loomed over her and tucked her to bed. He pulled the chaise closer to their bed and held her hand. His lips brushed over the visible veins and he settled on the chaise, distancing themselves deliberately.

“I won’t be with you till you want me to, but please don’t ask me to go away.” Arjun whispered and tucked a lock behind her ear.

“I am so sorry Sakshi. I am so sorry, I love you a lot. I don’t know how else to show so but I do… I do love you the most in my life.” Arjun rest his forehead on her palm, failing to notice the tear that trickled down her cheek.

Arjun sniffed and pressed a warm moist kiss on her fingertips.

“I am weak, I am flawed… I don’t have enough strength in me but Sakshi, trust me love… I love you more than anything in this world. I just love you.”

And just then the first ray of dawn seep through…