Mars V/S Venus - 27

CHAPTER 27

“I still remembered when that defiant little woman snapped on my face. I was surprised by the pretence she had shown years back. 


Her accent screamed of her not being in the States for long.

She was strange at it’s best. Vulnerable yet strong, beautiful but not pretty, slim but not toned.

She was normal. Now that was one thing I was yet to get acquainted with.

It was the fact that she was intimidated yet refused to show her fears, disgusted of me yet didn’t fight too much out of my embrace - what cause me to rile her up further.

I never knew she could pretend as if she liked me at the Dean’s office. Her faux coy gazes and blushes made me really want to go out with her, if that was her true nature.

Withdrawing her scholarship had been to jest her, but her sharp words on my face hurt me more than anything. It almost felt like she mocked my upbringing, she was like others - taking people on face value.

That day a certain Sakshi Anand and I had signed off silent animosity towards each other.

Years later when I found her at the graduation, running straight into my arms literally knocked the breath out of my lungs.

That tiny pesky graduate student had definitely turned into a woman. On the phase of life two years definitely made no difference but I could have sworn that either her curves had developed or that she had never compressed her assets so tightly against me.

Both being very pleasant for my southern area…  

I knew it that minute it wasn’t my sister but being the man I was, the last thing I would do is get her off me. Sorry for sounding desperate but I do accept of lust being a very primary emotion in me.

However I was indeed shocked out of my wits to know it was THE Sakshi Anand.

Somewhere down the line her defiance and insult to my upbringing had been a propelling force for my success in the business. I never had an explanation as to why was I working my arse off in a company where I would anyway be the nominal head - my grandfather being excessively fond of me.

Vishnu Singhania came from a humble abode and sky rocketed into creating the Lionex Industries. When my mother begged for justice on being bedded, impregnated and left with no resource to fend for herself did she knock on Dadu’s doors.

I was four at that time, clinging on to my mother’s shoulders as the old man before me gasped when he saw my face. I had never received such an affection. Somehow I found a younger version of Dadu staring at me with unfathomable emotions but disgust towards my mother.

I never knew he wanted this affair to be hidden, but my Dadu was angry and loved me more than anything in this world. I never got to know of struggles and was into his loving protection after my mother passed away.

I always hated my stepmother, for she had taken away my mother’s place… little did I realise that my mom had been the unsuspecting mistress all along. She never knew that my dad was married.

However I cannot say the same for my Ashu baby, when she was born I was the most ecstatic person in this universe. She was my little daughter and the love of my life. I would go to any extend of this earth for my Ashu.

She used to call me Paju as a child since Arjun was too difficult for her to pronounce and she recognized me as her paa.

Tears had blurred me when I found her in front of me with her graduation hat and degree in hand. I had momentarily forgotten about Sakshi Anand.

Coming to her name, I found an undeniable attraction towards and my world seemed to catapult into the strangest string of coincidences. Oh Lord did she blush when I kissed Raina!

It made me think how would she be if I kis… I was surprised at my own trail of thoughts!

I did put up a little show, not knowing why I had developed a certain instance of riling up a certain Sakshi Anand but now as I clearly assess the situation, apart from embarrassment there was a slight horror.

Why?

I still remember Ashu dying to give Sakshi a break into our industry because she did feel that Sakshi was worth it. I doubted giving her the position of being my personal secretary because she would have several responsibilities!

Okay ladies I am not saying that women can’t handle responsibilities but the fact that I felt she was too young to take up such a position. Probably she could be trained by me for a few months and be clubbed along with Mehra, the one who’s on the way to retirement.

I almost laugh at her horrified face when she walks in the life of my office and questions me about my presence. The tantalizing blush on her cheeks makes me want to tease her further but unfortunately I find the elevators doors open.

Bad timing!

She probably had zilch idea of my promotion as Vice President. Well ideally it was a non disclosure agreement and I am not allowed to discuss my promotion till we get the consensus from the office.

As days rolled by, I often found a blush sneaking up on her cheeks at my comments. Either she had begun to believe that I truly meant to appreciate her or maybe she was flustered.

But Sakshi Anand was never the flustered types.

I still remember our trip to India. We had eased into banters and teases with her always shutting me with her glares and me with my witty comments.

I was forced to introspect my emotions and intensity of feelings for her when I felt mortified of having thought of sex with her… when had I shied from lust?

I could never correlate the two words. Had I fallen for the only woman in this planet who would not fall for me?

Her chattering became quotations for me. Her smiles lifted my day and honestly speaking every single day I sought out to find her smile on recognizing me.

Our day’s stop at the village where I let myself go free, away from the pretentious act of being highly rich and famous and becoming what I truly was.

Just Arjun.

I couldn’t remove my eyes from her, her cheeks flushed with youth and joy as she danced amidst the crowd of little girls. The barely there choli and ghagra riding on her soft waves stumped me. I only wanted one thing,

her

I still remember her fervent responses to my caresses and her icy grip on my arms. The silence enveloping us on our way back home was the most soothing conversation between us;

For we conversed solely by our eyes.

Just as I began to acknowledge my love, just as she began to acknowledge the man in me did I encounter the man I loathed the most.

Sikandar.

If I was a flirt, he was a pervert. I wanted to keep Sakshi as far from him, but I was mortified to find her oblivious to him blatantly undressing her with his eyes. She seemed more comfortable with him than me.

Not that I noticed anything happening… but then she didn’t care for the way he gazed at her and something sinful burned in me. She was so aware of my gaze on her - even though if it was appreciation… now she didn’t bother of another man checking her out?

Probably I was insecure… was I?

Our trip to Vegas was just what we needed. I couldn’t voice out my insecurities because I never knew I had them in the first place. I wanted to be her first choice, for I knew we could be together.

I wasn’t blind to our differences but I knew we could work it out.

I can’t forget the evening we went out for our date… I don’t know how Sakshi did it but she brought out the man perhaps Maa would have wanted me to be.

I didn’t care that Raina had come to spoil our moment, but didn’t she face it from my girl!

My girl… was it true? After the bitter betrayal my mother felt, could it be possible that I would receive true and honest love?

I was scared, very scared.

I was scared when an ethereal Sakshi came to the party wearing what I gifted her. For the first time in my life was I so close to happiness. A regret filled in me for what I had done in the past, flitting from one girl to another but none was worth it.

If the trials and tribulations in my life led me to Sakshi then I wouldn’t mind facing every obstacle again and again. I felt like the scared child again, trying to hold on to my happiness as she glided by me… wait did she pass me a coy smile?

With the ring resting in my pocket and love brimming my heart, I had taken a step ahead to go towards my love and make her mine when Sikandar introduced her to the world.

I had never seen that joy in her face before. A bitterness filled my heart when I realised that I wasn’t enough.

But I wasn’t the one to give up. I did feel jealous, I did feel angry!

I remember Rain saying…

I frowned, I hadn’t recalled this earlier… what was Raina saying?

I only remember blurred images with Sakshi pushing me away and breaking my heart. I remember crying my heart out.

I was the second option in her life, again.

Fury built in me as I recalled the news article! How dare the shame my Sa.. Sakshi? My love died as I remembered her rejection.

I still tried to contact her to find her engaged in a conversation with Sikandar.

I had lost it, either I had lost my love to the man who didn’t deserve it or Sakshi Anand was a human this  low to like Sikandar.

Probably money and fame meant everything.

I didn’t care about that woman anymore, yet her tears and devastation of getting to know the news hurt me the most. With a selfish claim I made her my wife.

Arjun Singhania always got what he wanted. Even if that involved twisted methods.

I wasn’t blind to her unhappiness or the sudden loss of strength and joy in Sakshi. Of course she wanted someone else, though my mind often contradicted me.

Probably Sikandar was just an infatuation… that was my conclusions after days of us being ‘together’. I sensed a painful distance from her and my love for grew till it hurt me.

Hurt me so much that I wanted to do nothing but snuggle in her arms and stay forever. I wanted her to shush me, to handle me, to tell me that we’ll be together. That I wouldn’t end up as my mother. That she would love me.

But she seemed to be scared of me, always. She backed out and looked at me as if I would rape her!

I loved her with all my heart and stopped any sort of protests when she grew willower and sadder. I loved her, couldn’t she hear me screaming my heart out?

Hope spread its sore wings when she told that she felt for me. I didn’t care about the engagement, Raina, press.. no one. I just looked at the woman in front, I was willing to forget everything if only I could have her.

Not physically, but in my life. As my loving wife.

I would give up everything if she just honestly felt for me.

I remember holding her in my arms and placing a fleeting kiss on her lips, I tried to be as gentle as possible but Oh Lord help me! The sweetness of her pliant mouth, I couldn’t help but nibble her soft lips. Words failed me as I gently smooched her.

My eyes were glistening with tears of happiness, so were hers. I picked her up and led her to the guest room. I wouldn’t touch Sakshi before our first night which needn’t be the one after wedding. I knew we needed time but then we would be able to cope up with it.

I never looked at her face for her reactions, she was my love, my obsession.

I found her unable to breath normally so I pulled the strings out which loosened her choli so as to she could breath. I couldn’t help but melt at how beautiful she was.

So soft, so warm… I turned speechless. She seemed to be drowsy so I tucked her in the bed, kissing her bare shoulders withholding myself as much as I could. God help me for my restrain!

Her eyes were closed and her pale fingers were around my wrist… a sign of affection.

I pecked her once more and headed for a much needed long shower. I pushed away the little nagging doubt that perhaps things weren’t the way it seemed. Was a lack of response from her side meant she didn’t want us to be together?

I shook my head in negative and I knew that this was the most wonderful moment of my life. I laughed as I stood under the cold shower and breathed to calm my nether regions when I heard a banging on the door.

Suddenly my heart seemed to stop. The first memory which flitted by me was when I had gripped her arms and yelled at her. Somehow I felt burdened again.

I scoffed at the thought of having to apologize. She’s going to be my wife! I have rights on her and it makes no sense for me to be extra sensitive!

“COMING!” I yelled and slipped into a casual trousers and a thin tee. A pride filled in me as I knew Sakshi had accepted me, accepted us.

That’s it! Here’s my happily ever after! Now marriage and then that’s the life I have ever imagined about.

What else?

I walked out to find a horrified Ashu staring at me, confusion, accusation and horror etched on her face. “Ss… sash… ww.. what you do?” Ashu clamped her mouth shut as Sameer jogged up towards her and cradled her.

“What’s wrong? Sas… Sakshi? What’s… Did Sakshi leave!” My fears spoke out, did she ditch me and go?

Was my life tumbling down?

Tears pooled in my eyes as Sameer gripped my wrist and dragged me to Sakshi’s room, I was confused by seeing a few paramedics enter the room.

My heart stopped to find the love of my life on the floor, in a pool of her own blood!

“SAKSHI!”

Sakshi bled,

And I died.”

Arjun sagged against the chair, staring at his bloody hands in disbelief. “I love her…” He whispered. Dr. Neel just stared at the young man’s face. His stubble was streaked with blood and he had paled drastically.

“I know you do Arjun, what you have told me is a beautiful love story…” He gently wiped the blood of Arjun’s hands with the care of a father.

Arjun tried to breath, his palm fisting into his chest “I am still alive, so she has to be alive…” He murmured helplessly and twisted in his chair, a sob racked through his lungs as he broke into a cry.

Arjun felt himself in the warm embrace of the doctor who calmed him down “Calm down son, she’s coping up very well. She’ll gain consciousness in a few minutes.” He coaxed Arjun out of his trauma and passed a glass of water.

Arjun’s hands shivered as he tried to hold the cup. “I..ss… blood, Ss.. Sakshi on.. ff.. floor. Cc.. can meet.. w.. when?” He rattled off and twisted his ring, as if it had Sakshi’s life encompassed in it.

“Neel… She’s come to her conscious.” Dr. Ragini, wife of Dr. Neel, said.

Arjun staggered on his knees and rushed towards Sakshi’s cabin. He awaited for his sister to hug him, for his best friend to be with him or Anamika to shush him off his cries but all he found was a stony stare.

Ayesha turned her face away and hugged Sameer tighter while Sameer looked like he had been through her storm. Anamika was just staring at the ceiling, finding Arjun look at her she opened the door for him.

In lay Sakshi, her pale body tucked in blanket. A blood tube was inserted in her wrist. Arjun fell on his knees on seeing her alive. Her eyes were hollow as she stared at nothingness.

“Oh Sakshi…” Arjun moaned and rushed towards her but what he received was the biggest shock of life. On seeing Arjun, Sakshi’s eyes widened in fear and she crumpled into a ball.

She rubbed her lips vehemently with her free hand and begged for mercy.

Arjun felt like he was punched in his gut.

He felt him lose his conscious as the reality finally dawned on him.

It wasn’t an accident.

It was a suicide.

And he was responsible for it.

A/N : Okay guys this is one of the most important chapters for Mars V/S Venus. It had taken me complete 3 to 4 hours to pen this section down. So let me say that suicide is not the realisation point for men, this story demanded it hence so... in other cases there are other ways through which realisation can be brought about. And you see, the next few chapters is actually going to define this story.

So hope you all love it like always, this chapter is very close to my heart. Many might think as to why is everyone fainting et al, the thing is that for a weak man like Arjun... he couldn't digest the fact that he's responsible for this.

I have seen people fainting on such grave scenarios. And yes, this is ACTUALLY how Sakshi had appeared to Arjun, till now we had been seeing her perspective of the story... she actually never vocalised her feelings nor emote them.

It is never easy to express. Never. So now you can understand as to why did Arjun actually never understand her!

Love,

You Know Who