Mars v/s Venus (29)

CHAPTER 29

“Pp… please.” Arjun begged before Sakshi. Just as his hand accidentally brushed against hers, Sakshi looked up in fright and hugged herself in fright.

“No… love I mean no harm, I never meant! I…” Arjun paused to take a breath and gently placed her palm on his.

Keeping his grip firm, he looked into her eyes, assuring her that nothing would go wrong… ever.

“I?” Sakshi croaked, shivering partly due to subdued fear and anticipation.

“I love you.”

Two weeks ago

“You knock me off my feet my baby…. whooooooo!”

Sakshi giggled and threw her head back, laughing till tears formed. The faux Michael Jackson snapped at her and shimmied with the partner. Her laughter ceased a little as she noticed Sameer’s gaze on her, he was the only man she was getting used to now. In spite of that… she felt a wave of discomfort.

Sameer seemed to have noticed that and then gave her a brotherly smile and a wink to the faux Michael Jackson.

“Go on Girl!” The real Jackson crooned from iTunes.

An adorable gush of red made its way on Sakshi’s cheeks as Mr. Faux Jackson ditched Anamika, the partner, and made his way to Sakshi.

“Hey pretty baby with the high heels on!” Mr. FJ winked at her and pulled her out of the bed and did a hip bump. Sakshi gurgled like a little toddler on a laughter spree and held FJ’s shoulders to compose herself.

She was spun around as FJ continued “You give me fever like I’ve never ever known!” Anamika came rushing and threw water on FJ’s head and mouthed “To reduce the fever.” FJ shot a death glare and twirled Sakshi in his arms “You’re just a product of loveliness.”

Even though Sakshi was well aware of FJ, she couldn’t help but get a slight blush on her cheeks. FJ raised his eyebrows and went down on his knees “I like the groove of your walk, your talk, your dress.”

FJ swooned as he sang “I feel your fever from miles around…. I’ll pick you up in my, Car and we’ll paint the town.” Sakshi kicked FJ in the bum as he fell on the floor in the attempt to pick Sakshi up.

Fj looked embarrassed and cleared his throat and to his horror instead of Michael Jackson, the song shifted to “Soni de Nakhre.”

Anamika and Sakshi laughed their heads off. Sakshi turned to Sameer to ask if he did it and he nodded, just in sync with the “Yeah…”

FJ turned behind and swore pretty audibly while Sameer shrugged his shoulders and said “Cool…”

Getting to his feet, Sameer got up and pinched FJ’s cheeks. “Soni de nakhre soni lagde o mennu, soni de nakhre soni lagde… o kendi po  pappi jam kendi ye, oh jaana jaane...”

Sakshi couldn’t help but sway her hips to the tune and soon the four of them danced in crazy little circles.

As she raised her hand to high five Anamika, her smile dimmed as harsh reality slapped her face. The raised slit wounds on her wrist brought back bitter memories and she didn’t feel good anymore.

A weakling, a good for nothing weakling.

FJ stopped dancing and shed off the male form, throwing her hat aside she hugged Sakshi tightly. “Waise, I’ve decided why not we get married!” She smiled while Anamika hit her head. “Ayesha, just because you were posing Jackson a few minutes ago… it doesn’t mean that you’ve had an actual gender exchange!”

Sakshi smiled weakly and hugged Ayesha tighter. She felt terrible, Ayesha just wasn’t marrying cause Sakshi had slit her wrists. As she saw the adoration in Sameer’s eyes for Ayesha, Sakshi knew that she had to make her friend think about their own priorities.

“Ayesha… really… will you marry Sameer?”

Sameer’s face lit for a moment before he shook his head “Nope Sakshi, you need to…”

“Please, I hate it that you’re stalling for me. Please don’t do that…” Sakshi smiled softly as Ayesha and Sameer nodded.

“Okay guys, here’s enough family moment to put Rajshri Productions to tears.” Anamika shouted and smiled at the irritated faces. “Since the wedding’s back with a bang on her order; I mean who can refuse the to be Mrs Si…”

Anamika bit her tongue and looked aside as Sakshi turned sharply towards her.

How could she forget?

Arjun

The name spent chills up her spine. His heated caresses and his lips…

Sakshi shook her head vigorously and sat on her bed, chewing her nails.

She turned to the side to find Arjun staring at her with a strange longing and guilt.  He held a bouquet of pink lilies, her favourite, just like for the past few weeks.

He was always there, with a bunch of her favourite flowers and anguish in his eyes.

“Please…” He bit back a strangled cry and pleaded before the love of his life. Taking a step forward, a tear rolled down his cheek as Sakshi ran and locked herself in the bathroom.

Through the glass of the door, Sakshi watched Arjun stagger in his steps and look towards the door with pain. Sakshi cried herself, biting her lower lip continuously as Arjun placed the lilies in his bouquet and broke into a cry.

Ayesha looked torn, wanting to hug her brother yet not wanting to face him ever.

Arjun looked up, distraught as his sister stormed out of Sakshi’s room with Sameer following her. Anamika placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder and shrugged.

Sakshi looked on as Arjun caressed the pillow of her bed and hugged the pillow tight to himself. It reminded her of how he had hugged her . But the memories were quickly replaced by when he had forced her to spend a night with him.

Grasping herself, Sakshi slid to the floor and weeped. Calling out to her mother in silence, Sakshi froze as she felt footsteps near the bathroom.

“Sakshi, please… I beg of you. Sakshi I am sorry. Slap me love, beat me. Kill me. Sakshi… baby I am sorry. Just… just look at me. I swear I wouldn’t see you ever again.” His broken voice shook her heart yet the only recollection of him speaking to her was when he threw filthy accusations on her character, on his bed.

“No…” She wailed out and placed her ear against the door, her eyes wild with fright and longing.

“I’ll do anything Sakshi.” Arjun kneeled before the door and braced himself against it. His heart lay before her, battered and bruised from self inflicted pain.

“Please, just for once… look at me, speak to me. Even if it is to chastise me.” His eyes were red from his tears and lack of sleep. His hands shook as they touched the door, his heart expectant for an answer.

But she never replied.

He sat there, patiently waiting for her to say something, but all he heard was her breathing. He kept on calling out to her, pleading for forgiveness.

But she never replied.

Concerned with her being locked up for an hour, a weaker Arjun would trudge his way out of her room. The flowers and pillow would still remain at the doorstep of the bathroom.

The minute she would be assured he left, Sakshi would crawl out of her room and dart here and there. On not finding Arjun, she would lock her door and pull all the curtains. Assured that she’s just on her own, a sobbing Sakshi would make her way to the flowers and pillow.

She would clutch the flowers against her heart and proceed to hug her pillow when she stiffened, the pillow smelt of him.

She could never forget his musky, exotic smell.

Something that only could define Arjun.

Her hands froze and her body stiffened as she recalled taking his fragrance when he had pushed her against the bed in a failed attempt to claim her.

She tiptoed into her bed, but her eyes never left the pillow.

Hiding under layers of blankets, she would keep on staring at the pillow as if Arjun was standing before her. Her blood ran cold at that thought and she shut her eyes, waiting for sleep to conquer her.

Dr. Neel and Ayesha sat grim as they watched the entire sequence through the CCTV monitor. For the past few weeks the same thing had been happening between Arjun and Sakshi.

In the beginning she used to be violent and plead him for her life, harming him or her in some way or the other.

Then one day she sat for a moment, hearing out to him before she ran and locked herself in the washroom for as long as Arjun remained in her room.

This continued for every meet.

She would laugh, sing and dance with the others as days rolled by. But with Arjun, it just remained the same. Arjun would stand outside the room daily, watching her sing and dance along with all others.

Ayesha teared up as she noticed her brother devastated at the turn of events. She wanted to run and hug him as she noticed his dropped shoulders and low head as he walked out of Sakshi’s room and head towards his.

Dr. Neel remained quiet as he noted the tears in Ayesha’s eyes. True… this family had a lot of fixing to do.

He needed to repair the relationship damage between Arjun and Sakshi.

He needed to heal Ayesha from a broken teen to a healed adult.

He needed to talk Sameer out of his commitment phobe attitude.

He needed to give Maya Singhania an earful about her obvious disdainful attitude.

He needed to counsel Pratap Singhania to actually love his son.

He needed to, most importantly, counsel Arjun.

And last but not the least, he needed to insinuate the process of getting Sakshi out of genophobia.

“Damn…” Neel cussed softly. There was nothing that seemed like a clear treatment beginning for him. No signs of mental improvement, neither a sign of increased affection.

If he didn’t fix Sakshi soon enough, Arjun would be well on his way to commit suicide or Sakshi may repeat the stunt.

Not that suicide was something to boast on…  if only he could make the others understand that suicide wasn’t a threat or cowardly act… rather it’s nothing short of a filthy fatal disease of mental stability. They needed to treat it like a disease.

Neel pressed his throbbing head as Maya and Pratap pinged him day and night to ‘treat’ Arjun and Sakshi well enough to marry. Seriously, these people were hell bent on spending millions to get the kids married but not even a penny to get them treated!

All for the name of faux reputation and status!

“Ayesha, hey… I just came by to give Dr. Neel some notes. Could you…” Neel turned to see his wife standing by the door.

“Oh, most definitely!” Ayesha smiled and walked out of the room, closing the door gently.

“Good day love.” Ragini murmured as she pressed a firm kiss on his lips. “Hmm…” Neel answered and kissed her back.

“How’s the day going? Wait let me get this…”

Neel closed his eyes as he took a sip of the calming chamomile tea. “Thanks… well my day is going fantastic. I have a guilt ridden depressed man in love with a genophobic suicidal prone girl. And mind you, the man did try to force himself on her before. Then I have Ayesha who has been facing denial and societal pressure ever since her teens, facing unrequited love and marrying a commitment phobic man who swears by the one night stand rule. And guess what? These guys were best friends in their childhood. Over that I have a cheating old husband attempting to cover his mistakes by showering jewelry on his broken wife who hides her heartbreak in the guise of a rude attitude. So love, I am having a bloody f*****gly fantastic day!”

Ragini gently pressed his temples and watched the CCTV monitor. Neel moaned softly in approval and rewinded the video, hoping to catch a weak point to begin with.

“Neel… you are just a human. It is completely fine if you don’t get the solutions to every or even any problem in one day.” Ragini coaxed Neel out of his misery who shook his head. “I am a psychiatrist, I want to ensure that they all are fine. I am ready to do anything to sort out this mess. Even if it doesn’t include medicines or conventional methods. I can see two kids who just might commit suicide any moment and I c.. c…”

Neel broke down and wrapped his arms around his wife’s waist “I can’t forget her dead body, Ragini.  I should have read the signs but I never did. I don’t want to repeat the mistake… to see a young lively girl dead. Oh what fate of mine to not even understand that my child was getting bullied constantly… that it led to…”

“Shush… Neel you can’t change what happened years ago, can you?” Ragini smiled through her tears and hugged her husband like her lost child. “I… I am not supposed to cry…” He stopped as Ragini chuckled “You’re a human. Being a psychiatrist doesn’t give you any certificate of being mentally stable.”

The smile on Ragini’s face dimmed as her eyes caught on to something on the monitor.

“Neel?”

“Hmm…”

“Did you see this, zoom in...”

Neel zoomed the camera to Sakshi’s face as she stared at the pillow.

“Unbelievable.” Ragini sat in a chair and stared at Sakshi’s eyes.

“This is impossible… wait, you mean. Oh Gosh, that means she doesn’t fear Arjun?” Neel gaped in disbelief as Ragini studied the forehead and eyes of Sakshi.

“No way love, don’t you see…

She desperately in love with him”

Present

It had taken two weeks counselling from Neel to meet Arjun without running away. Neel had to counsel Arjun too, to stop him from going into depression. Sakshi had been shivering with fear when they met for the first time, at dinner table. A gasp had left her mouth when he looked at his devastated form. He had definitely lost weight and there were prominent dark circles under his red rimmed eyes. His cheeks had sunk in and his hair was disheveled. She had felt the hell, he had lived in it.

The repent and regret and... something... shone in those once captivating black eyes. On one corner of her heart she still had the last flame of love for this man, hence she couldn't refuse to meet him at the Gardens the day after.

“I love you.”

Sakshi stilled on the grass and stared at him, wide eyed. His palms held the warmth of a crackling fire against the chill of winter. She looked at him in disbelief as Arjun nodded and bent before her, on the grass.

“Always have, always will.”

Blinking hard to stop her tears, Sakshi clutched a clump of grass and shivered as she asked;

“W… why?” did you force me to sleep with you that night?

Arjun lowered his head in shame and looked up in regret “I was completely drunk. I didn’t even remember anything next morning except you stating that you hated me.”

Sakshi chewed her lower lip in confusion as she realised what he was saying. But that wasn’t enough as a reassurance.

“No… it doesn’t serve as an excuse for what I did…” He broke down and slid his palm out, folding his palms before her.

“I don’t deserve you Sakshi, not even one bit.”

Sakshi loosened her grip on the grass, her fingers trembled as they tried to hold his.

“I didn’t purposely drink, Raina led me to…”

“Raina?” Sakshi gaped at him as another memory of the night came to her head.

"Oh My! Sakshi! How beautiful and stunning you look today!" I was surprised how she could manage to smile with all the Botox and plastic surgery on her face. "Even you look lovely." I managed to lie and she flattered her eyelashes.

"You know Sakshi! Jun would just so love you today sweetie! It's fine you didn't tell the reporters but I do know what's the inside scoop eh? Oh, wait you smell of... Chanel No. 21! Aha, Jun sent his designer at your place na? Oh that's what he did for me too you know! Before gifting me diamonds, how can I forget that day! It was my birthday Sakshi! Especially the first time we had "that"... oh now don't be all prime rose and shy! The day was magical and the night had left me in awe. He is magnificent! Not just me, also with Maiksha and Lithuanne, yeah I always gave him freedom you see! You must be truly a catch for him!" I felt my blood drain out of me and sudden fatigue take over.

Not the fact that she spewed rubbish as to their physical relationship, but then... designers, he did the same for her too? I kept a mum mouth as Raina laughed over Arjun's infidelity and his craving for woman.

"It's actually not a surprise why he didn't want you to be mentioned, I mean look at the way he is sulking!" Raina spoke and to my utter disgust, she had my attention yet again. Her grey eyes sparkled as they locked into mine and gave a convincing sigh "He never likes it when women take over him. He likes to be the favourite boy of media. For him his woman should be his eye candy, nothing more... nothing more at all..."

“She met me as well…” Sakshi said softly. Arjun’s ears perked up and he looked at Sakshi frowning deeply.

“You? But why… I mean what did…” His words stopped as a bitter emotion swept on Sakshi’s face.

She told him everything she could recall and found Arjun to be swearing.

“F**k… she just go it so right!” He cussed and shook his head.

“I never meant to love you without commitment Sakshi. Never. You are someone whom I want for the rest of my life. I never meant to keep you as my babydoll.” Arjun tugged her hand gently, hoping against hope that she would believe him.

“But how come she knew about the designers… and why were you sulking?” Sakshi asked, still hurt from his accusations.

“She must have got a tip from one of the staffs or designers whom I sent across. I don’t do this for everyone… trust me. I know I don’t deserve your trust nor belief at all… and as far as sulking was considered, yes, I was in a pretty bad mood.”

Sakshi was about to withdraw her palm when he stopped her with a gentle touch “No… not because you got the recognition you long deserved. Not because I wasn’t proud of you… none of that.”

“Then?”

Arjun began to laugh while Sakshi looked at him shock.

“Jealousy.”

“What?!”

“I wanted to be the man due to whom you got the credit, I wanted to be in place of Sikandar so badly then. I would literally do anything to get you from him. Anything. When you stood next to him, I felt I was burning alive. When you two waltzed for the first dance, I felt like my ribs were being broken time and again. Perished and living in an inferno… that’s all I felt.”

“I… I didn’t want to be with him.” Sakshi sniffed slightly but didn’t flinch back from his hold.

“I know sweetheart. I always knew that you had no interest on him and that Sikandar was looking forward for some fling with you. But you made me weak, your love made me weak. Blind from every truth I should have seen from the first point. Over that Raina filled my ears over glasses of whiskey. After that…” Arjun turned his head aside in shame while Sakshi quivered, remembering the night.

“My state being drunk, or weakened in love doesn’t form as any excuse for the sin I committed. I grew weak in love due to my own faults… not yours. To claim was all that I had learnt…” Arjun paused and drew a difficult breath as memories taunted him.

“I can’t believe… but then that’s what pushed me to claim you, force myself on you… no matter what were the consequences.” Arjun broke off as Sakshi stiffened, tears lining her eyes but along with a different determination.

“Then?” She whispered.

“Sakshi, love, believe me. I love you from the bottom of my heart but I just didn’t know how to make you mine! I didn’t want to lose you. It’s probably my childhood to blame. Till her last days, my mother was blind in love for my father. Even when he outrightly rejected her and pushed her aside with me in her womb… she continued to love that b@#$%^d. I used to be so confused, how could she still love him after everything? I reached to a conclusion that bedding… bedding the woman you love seals the deal. My father stopped using my mum as he began using Ashu’s mum. It was a simple equation for me then. The value of making love turned into something I wanted to tarnish myself.”

Sakshi tilted her head slightly and peered to look at his anguished eyes, he seemed genuine.

“What happened to… to your maa?”

Arjun looked into her eyes and sighed “She had got cancer and she died due to lack of treatment. I hate that man Sakshi… he ruined everything. Everytime my maa said that she still loved him, I hated the term love more than anyone else. You know when people used to call me a b@$%@#d’s son… I didn’t believe it. I felt so disgusted of my being when I was poked for being born out of wedlock. To put cherry on top, my own father used to look down upon me. If Dadu wasn’t there… I might have turned died long before. He strengthened me Sakshi.”

“Dd… did you ever meet someone who made you change your views?” Did you ever fall in love with a girl? Sakshi stared at his face while his eyes held a distant look. “Hmm… in second year of college there was this freshman who was naive and simple. We bumped into each other and her coy gazes had  me in, her eyes were gorgeous.”

A pang of jealousy hit Sakshi as she heard him describe the ‘girl’ but she kept quiet… she wanted to know him, wanted to move on from what had happened.

“But I should have read the signs.”

“Signs?”

“We quickly moved into a physical relationship with me. After a few weeks we even lived together at  my apartment. Out of love I gave her everything I could and she… took everything. When she got to know that I wasn’t the true heir of the Industries and that even though I was my father’s first born, but out of an illicit relationship, she suddenly grew distant. Her love disappeared within a day and she began to grow disdainful of me. I had thought that coming from a mediocre background she would be sympathetic and understand me more… but it brutally backfired. If not enough, there she was making out with a guy behind my back. Apparently the bump was intentional and she always wanted to be associated with me as I was ‘the man’ out there. That cut me off love big time… I didn’t like the term anymore, refused to believe anyone who seemed innocent.”

His eyes met hers and then the duo looked away.

“But you took my breath away Sakshi, completely. Money, fame, sex, greed, lust or power… nothing got you to my side. In values you’re just like my mum. I hated to love you because you were too good to me but I was bad enough to not let you go from my sight. You think that all the meets we had were accidents? Nope… only the first meet and then at Ashu’s graduation were honest mistakes. After that, every time I had wished to be with you. You taught me so many things, taught me that not all women are same, taught me what true love is. Being with you made me needy and possessive, but it also rectified my other mistakes.”

“Bb.. but why? If only that ni.. I wouldn’t want to make love to you bef…”

“Sakshi I had it all planned, honestly even I was not going to make love to you that night!” Arjun threw his hands in frustration and then made her stand up.

“Then? What had you planned?”

Arjun’s fingers shook as they slipped in his coat pocket;

“This.”

A gasp left Sakshi’s mouth as Arjun had produced a proposal ring.

“I’ve always wanted to marry you, have a bunch of pink babies, return home to a wife who would kiss me welcome and go to bed loving her like it’s the last day of my life. I saw so many dream with you Sakshi. I had dreamt so much for us. Hoping for… for a little chubby angel who would just take on after her mother. Hoping for a family I never got, a wife I never deserved. I wished to go miles away from the city and settle in a cottage at our farms, with you by my side. But…”

“Oh baby no… don’t cry!” Arjun wiped her tears as Sakshi sobbed and held on to his hands for support.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? Why?” She cried out.

“I was SCARED! I refused to believe that I deserved you and I didn’t want to hear your rejection! I… I love you.”

Sakshi sniffed and shook her head “I am too damaged Arjun. It’s not that I can forgive you entirely for what happened but then we both know who was the main person orchestrating this. This is not possible…”

“Sakshi please! I beg of you, there’s no fault with you. Heck I am so proud of you, trust me. I wouldn’t have been able to stand if I had faced what you had. I know I don’t deserve to know but… did you ever feel for me?” He looked aside, waiting for her denial to come forth.

“I didn’t feel for you Arjun, I had loved you.” Sakshi whispered and found him going on his knees, crying gently.

“Please give me one chance to prove myself Sakshi. I love you beyond everything… I’ll do what it takes to be the man of your dreams. I am so sorry.” Sakshi’s heart broke as she saw Arjun pleading for another chance.

What if Raina hadn’t forced Arjun to drink, what if she hadn’t filled anyone’s ears?

If Raina hadn’t been there in the picture, Arjun would have proposed to her and they would have been married by now. If only he hadn’t believed Raina.

Could she give him a chance?

Should she give him a chance?

There was a long way ahead, she still couldn’t touch him out of fear yet her heart willed against her mind to be with the man who was himself so wronged in his life.

“Promise me, that you won’t believe anyone’s words without knowing the truth.”

Arjun looked up and held her fingers “I promise! Love, trust me I won’t ever… wait, you’re asking me to make a promise? Do you…”

Sakshi sniffed slightly “I am still damaged, your memory hurts me just as much.”

Arjun clasped his hands and nodded tearfully.

“But there was a part of me which loved you.” She said quietly, waiting for his response.

“A part of me which wants to believe that none of this will ever happen, that you would…”

“Love you forever and ever, till my last breath. Oh Sakshi… I just love you so much. I can’t describe how beautiful you are or how wonderful you make me feel, I just love you more than myself. You are so precious.” He mumbled while Sakshi placed her hand on his, with fear yet anticipation.

They spent several moments in silence, holding on to each other as the pain of past turned into nothing but a dull ache.

Sakshi found herself with several questions.

Could she forgive Arjun? No

Could she forget Arjun? No

Could she try to forgive Arjun ? Yes

Does she love Arjun? … Maybe

Could she live without Arjun? …

No.  

Knowing that it was nothing short of a risk for her, she still laid her heart bare before him.

“M…” She began but lost courage as Arjun looked at her, flabbergasted at what she was going to say next.

“Marry me?”

Her innocent wish tore through his heart all over again.

Arjun fell in love with Sakshi, all over again.

Tears brimmed in his eyes and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her waist and break into a cry.

Sakshi cried along with him, her troubled emotions taking primary dominance over her fear.

Panic, anxiety, relief, fear, happiness coursed through her veins,

But love had won.

---

A/N : Okay people! This is one heck of a large update just for you guys... I can't believe that Mars V/S Venus has come to its second half of the tale! There are many other gaps to fill in and that shall begin right after this chapter :) Really wish to hear from your end!