Chapter 6
As the car stopped at the restaurant the others got off… giving a little bit of private time to Sakshi and Arjun…
Arjun was indeed amazed to see the smiling face of Sakshi… he saw it after many months.
Perhaps one of the firsts after her pregnancy… why?
As Arjun got off and opened the car door and helped Sakshi to come off she shrugged her hand off her grip.
“Mom, dad aur Bhai nahi hai yaha pe… yeh care aur concern dikhane ki zaroorat nahi hai Arjun…” she said softly and started walking towards the restaurant.
“Sakshi… achanak itna gussa kyun?” he held her arm… making her spin towards him.
She looked into his eyes.... searching for something…
Don’t you know how much it pains my heart to see myself as your wife when you outrightly refused it…
Don’t you know my heart bleeds upon the fact… that all this is happening… that I feel disgusted with this!
But to her dismay she did find him utterly confused…
“Kuch nahi…” she mumbled and walked slowly towards the restaurant… perhaps he really felt pulling off this charade was nothing.
He walked beside her… looking at her stoic face.
Why does her smiles disappear before me?
Am I always the reason for her discomfort?
I am trying to do my best out here… what is it that’s hurting her? Doesn’t she care to share it with me?
Sakshi walked a little slowly… as she crossed a little puddle instinctively she wound her palm around his… he held her hand tightly and she looked into his eyes.
His orbs studied the faint gleam in her eyes… a hope that came in her eyes.
Did him holding her hand mean so much to her?
But what if she felt uncomfortable that he held her hand…
His logical mind being more superior he swiftly took her hand away.
The glow lost from her face almost immediately.
I knew… it’s best I stay farther away from him…
She tucked her hair behind her ear… bit her lower lip to control the pain in her heart.
One look at her face and he knew he made a mistake… that he had… he had unknowingly hurt her… again.
He walked closer to her… to link his palm with her… but she kept her palms to herself… and he being a gentleman… didn’t force his palm with hers.
If only he knew that was what she was waiting for…
~*~
“I must say thank you so much Ayesha bete for this wonderful invitation… ab toh humain koi darr nahi… isliye toh humari beti humain bhool gayi hai… tum sab jaise dost paake toh parivaar hi poora hota hai! Kyu… aap kya kehte ho?” Ram Anand told his wife…
Shubha nodded her head in agreement…
They had just finished their food… Arjun was sitting next to Sakshi… she just picked on her food… smiled a little… stroking her belly sometimes.
After finishing a glass of water she felt her vision blur.
Arjun kept a polite smile throughout… he folded his napkin neatly and kept it on the glass table when he found Sakshi squint her eyes in discomfort.
“Sakshi…” he said.
“Chakkar…” she whispered.
“Guys… I guess humain chalna chahiye… she isn’t feeling so well… woh maine bill pay kar dia hai…” Arjun answered and patted Sakshi’s cheeks.
Her eyes rolled back and she had slight perspiration.
He was tentative before picking up in his arms.
“Arjun… I will drive the car… Baba mere side main aur Maa tum dono ke saath piche beithengi…” Rudra said and took the keys.
Arjun picked up Sakshi… and to his surprise he didn’t find her heavy.
Keeping her in the SUV he waited for home to come.
Sakshi came round after a few minutes… but she still felt tipsy… she looked up to notice Arjun’s worried face… and then slipped back into darkness.
~*~
“Arjun… maa aur baba dusre kamre main so jayenge… main hall main adjust kar lunga… tum Sakshi ke paas hi raho…” Rudra said after Arjun laid Sakshi on the bed.
“Ok sir…” Arjun replied…
But … I am scared… how do I look after her… will she get up soon… how do I stop dizziness… oh Lord…
He looked at her mother in slight uneasiness… and mothers can always read minds.
“Bete… yeh thanda paani leke jao… I know you do know what to do.. par phir bhi.. since she was sweating uss ki kapde badal lo… halka phulka nightie se hi chalega… aur andar ki kapde bhi nikaal do... tension lene ki koi baat nahi hai… bas hum aur Ruddu hai… toh she will feel better… aur sar pe thand paani ka patti dena aur AC chala dena ok?” Shubha said.
“Jee… thank you anyways…” Arjun smiled… he took the necessities and entered their room… it occurred to him that they would be sharing one room… strange.
As he sat near her… he patted her head gently… it freaked him out to see her limp.
Did she get this often? Oh Lord… how does she recover then?
When she is alone… wait… who would care for her… what if she falls on the floor during dizziness… oh no…
A thousand thoughts ran in his head… he switched on the AC and wiped her sweat… he patted her face with a wet cotton… her dress seemed uncomfortable.
Oh God… how would he change that?
He opened her cupboard and frowned to see a few clothing items…
Why didn’t she buy any maternity wear?
He finally found a really loose cotton maxi.
But a challenge lay before him… how would he change… oh shoot.
He removed the earrings and bangles and necklace from her.
She was gently coming into consciousness.
He patted on with the cool wet cloth… when she came round he offered a bottle of cold water which she sipped and came back to normal.
“Sakshi… yeh kapde badal lo… main aaj raat ke liye yahi ruk raha hoon...” Arjun told a shocked Sakshi.
He switched off the light… “Umm… no need to wear undergarments… maine light off kar dia hai… just feel loose ok?” he said.
She hummed in response and slid into the maxi… she wrapped a scarf around her… “Tum light on kar sakte ho… par tum raat ke liye kaha so ge? Yaha pe couch bhi nahi hai… bahar…”
“Sir hai… as in Rudra…” Arjun said.
“Oh…” Sakshi mumbled.
“Main neeche bistar bicha deti hoon… par.. extra blanket…” Sakshi scratched her head.
“It’s okay Sakshi… I will sleep next to you…” Arjun mumbled… Sakshi turned away her face… lest the blush be seen by him… however the smile soon changed into an air of sadness.
When another problem lay… he didn’t have an extra pair of clothing.
He removed his shoes, socks and belt and slid beside her.
“Arrey tum neeche hoke sou na… aise half sitting kyun?” Arjun asked.
“Woh… saans lene main dikkat hoti hai… aur uterus main bohot pressure ho jayega… isliye half sitting pe baithna padega…” Sakshi answered… stroking her belly occasionally.
“Hmm… waise aaj kya hua jo aise faint…” he asked… to find her smirking.
“Yeh aksar hota hai… par pehli baar kisine dhyan diya… otherwise am used to…” she sighed.
Why didn’t you tell me before Sakshi?
Arjun’s eyes asked her…
Sakshi looked back…
You never stayed long enough to know…
She finally dozed off little bit… when again she got up… murmuring something… she wanted to have ice cream… that too Mc Flurry with Oreo crunchy.
She looked up and saw his face… it was illuminated by the slight moonlight which entered through the georgette white curtains.
She looked at the semi dark room… darkness… she never liked it… it reminded her of that night… his sleeping form made her recall all those memories… it seemed both… pleasant and unpleasant at the same time.
Arjun was still sleeping… frowning… she stroked his head slightly… reminding her that how much she loved this man.
She looked at his sleeping face… when she recalled.
My eyes opened as I found him kissing my neck… I took in a deep breath… and gasped when he bit my neck.
We had gone through… what people called climaxes.
I felt thrown off the edge… pleasure was still coursing in my veins.
I felt him shudder and moan… then he slipped beside me… panting hard.
We were perspiring.
I rested my head on his chest… hearing his heart beat race before me.
He dozed off after a few minutes… I stared at his face… when something hit me…
What if he doesn’t accept me in the morning?
No… he made love with me… it does mean something… it couldn’t have been lust.
Sakshi broke out of her reverie when someone knocked the door.
She held her hips slightly and stretched… she walked towards the door… Arjun got up by then.
“Bhai…” she answered… her eyes slightly droopy.
“Haan… woh… mereko woh.. nightmare aaya… tere baare main…so just came to check.” Rudra answered…
He got in and hugged her tight…
“Aye Rudali… tu bhi na…” Sakshi hugged him tight… it was his childhood habit… if he had any difficulty in sleeping.. he would come to Sakshi…
“Isliye bhai shadi kar hi lo… raat main itna thak javoge ke neend apne aap hi aa jayega!” Sakshi teased him slightly…
“Haan haan… tu toh experience se hi bol rahi hai!” Rudra teased her back.
Thank God the lights were still off… otherwise he would have seen the fallen expression of Sakshi’s.
As Arjun came out… “Sir… aap…” he murmured.
Rudra noticed Arjun wearing his formal clothes… “Yahi pehenke so gaye kya?” he eyed him suspiciously.
“Woh Bhai mujhe Ice Cream khaana tha.. aur maine Arjun ko tang kiya… toh woh kapde badal ke ready ho gaye…” Sakshi gave a goofy smile.
“Hmm… chalo… waise bhi raat ke 1 baje hai aur tereko Ice Cream pe hi dhyaan hai.. sona nahi kya? Aur kaha se Ice Cream milega?” Rudra asked.
“Mc Donald’s…” Arjun answered…
“Chalo Sakshi…” Arjun said and Sakshi nodded.
“Acha bhai niklo… mereko kapde pehenne hai…” Sakshi said.
“Aur kitna pehenegi…” Rudra answered..
“Bhai… tum nahi samjhoge…” she pushed him out.
Sakshi wore her inner clothes and followed Arjun slowly towards the car.
“Waise Sakshi thanks for this… main ghar jaake kapde le leta hoon… acha excuse tha…” Arjun said…
Sakshi just looked at Arjun… she then bit her lips and looked down.
He didn’t fail to notice those expressions.
“Tum yahi ruko...’ he said and brought his bag…
Sitting next to her they were driving back home when Arjun took another turn…
“Arj…” she stopped to find McDonald's in front of her…
“Kaunsa waala…” he asked…
“Zaroorat nahi hai…” she whispered… he looked sharply towards her.
Am I incapable of fulfilling your cravings?
He drew in a deep breath… “Zaroorat hai… kitna?”
“Ek Mc Flurry… with Oreo crunch…” she told softly.
After a few minutes they came back home as Sakshi happily ate the ice cream.
Arjun had a small smile playing on his lips seeing her lick the end of the spoon like a small child.
~*~
Chapter 7
“Beta… tera fridge main toh zyaada kuch hai hi nahi… socha tha tu ghar main se kuch kha ke jaa…” Shubha said…
“Arrey mumma… kal hi grocery jaa rahi hoon… waha jaake kuch kha hi lungi main… by the way… Bhai… ab tu kya dekh raha hai!” Sakshi said… then her eyes went to the clock.
“Arrey 7 baj chuke hai… Sameer aur Ayesha ke engagement ke liye we would be late…” Sakshi pushed her brother into the washroom…
“Par beta tune toh khud ko tayaar kiya hi nahi…” Shubha checked her daughter…
“Woh… mere paas saree hai hi nahi… aur suit fit nahi hoga…” Sakshi scratched her head as Arjun came out… wearing a handsome piece black and green formal suit.
Arjun looked at Sakshi… “tum log hoke aao… main jaa nahi pavungi…”
“Dhat…” her mother said…
“Come.. mere paas ek stretchable plain black blouse hai… aur uske saath ek halki green saree… Arjun ne bhi green pehna na… chalo…”
Sakshi returned a few minutes later in a beautiful saree… she looked gorgeous…
She gave a faint smile to Arjun…
Soon the family reached the hall…
~*~
“Sameer… am so sorry for this… I know yeh fake engagement and stuff… but Sakshi ke liye…” Ayesha started and Sameer stopped her…
“Ayesha… none of us have been blind to the other’s feelings… I really don’t mind… for a reason of my own…” Sameer said gently…
The ETF family arrived… being perfectly compliant to everything…
Ayesha just looked at Sameer… “You are not serious…” she said…
“I am…” he replied back…
“Sakshi aa gayi…” he left a semi perplexed Ayesha and hugged Arjun, Rudra and Sakshi…
“Aiye… yaha pe kam guests hai… mom dad couldn’t make it due to unfortunate reasons… aur Ayesha… orphanage main badi hui hai… toh please don’t ask her about her kin… at the moment maamla nazuk hai isliye bahar ka kisi bhi kuch nahi pata… sirf hum ETF waalon ko hi khabar hai…” Sameer welcomed them…
Mr and Mrs Anand gave sympathetic looks towards Ayesha and blessed her…
“Kaafi rehearsed speech hai Sameer…” Rudra shocked Sameer.
“Arrey main mazaak kar raha hoon!” Rudra smiled.
Sameer gave a small smile to Ayesha before exchanging the ring… she looked at him… something told her that this wasn’t fake.
Ayesha was slightly nervous.. even though it was supposed to be a show… just for her sister cum friend Sakshi… she found herself to be jittery.
As she slipped the ring in Sameer’s hand a huge weight fell on her shoulders.
She needed to confess… this couldn’t remain as a show.
She gently sipped the water… her heart was thumping.
Sameer was speaking to Rudra.
She walked up to them.
“Sameer… I need to speak to you…” Ayesha fumbled… Rudra stepped back with a knowing smile.
However his military brain kicked in and something told him that this isn’t what it seems like… he already knew that Arakshi seemed to have issues… perhaps marital issues… but Sameer and Ayesha… a trouble as well.
~*~
“Sameer…” Ayesha took a deep breath…
“I can’t do this…” she looked at the ring…
“Par Ayesha.. Sakshi ke liye we have to…” Sameer reasoned as they stepped onto the small garden… the air was filled with fresh grass scent… small bulbs were lighted here and there… adding a light glow on her flushed face.
“No… no no… you don’t understand…” Ayesha spoke… her heartbeat going faster as he placed his hands on his hips.
“ok.. I know am being an idiot… but… but…” Ayesha knotted her fingers tightly.
“Tell me Ayesha…” Sameer asked her… worried…
Did she love another person…
The thought froze his heart…
~*~
Chapter 8
“Hum waapas zaroor ayenge… agar Sukriti ki emergency call nahi aati toh we wouldn’t have been going… sach… love you beta…” her parents hugged her…
“Ab mujhe bhi apne duty pe waapas jaana hai… take care… and Arjun… make sure my princess has every treasure in her life…” Rudra shook hands with Arjun and pecked his sister’s forehead.
Sakshi teared up while waving them bye… she took in a deep breath… her back was aching.
“Coffee?” Arjun asked.
“Nahi… no caffeine during pregnancy…” she answered…
“Chai ya coffee sung ke thow up kar leti hoon…” Sakshi told as she helped herself with a glass of cold milk…
His attention turned to her…
“Wait… Sakshi… toh tum mere liye chai…” his words faded…
She did everything to make him feel comfortable..
“Main bathroom hoke aati hoon…” she answered and walked towards the washroom…
Rather running away from the questions…
Her eye went towards the mangalsutra lying on the table… a pang seeped in her heart..
I was never his wife.. now he would leave… and… I… alone… again… why did he give me the feelings and dreams of the impossible.. I don’t know…
She stepped out of the washroom… and looked at Arjun reading the newspaper.... it almost looked perfect… him and her… and their baby…
“Arjun… tum ja kab rahe ho?” she asked…
She didn’t want me to be with her anymore?
His eyes turned towards her… his jaws tightened…
“Bas kuchi minute main… office hoke waapas mere ghar…” Arjun gritted…
Sakshi bit her lips…
Was he in so much of a hurry to leave?
And with that he left… not only the house… but also a void in her heart…
~*~
Sameer was staring at the ceiling… when Ayesha entered his cabin with a knock…
“Come in…” Sameer answered after the third knock…
On seeing Ayesha he immediately got up..
Their minds went back to yesterday evening…
“ok.. I know am being an idiot… but… but…” Ayesha knotted her fingers tightly…
“Tell me Ayesha…” Sameer told her… worried…
Did she love someone else?
“Sameer… yeh sahi nahi hai… I know am being a fool… but am scared that I am horribly… that… that… there is nothing in this world that I cherish… respect… admire… and love more than you… I mean.. I am an idiot… I know… I mean… I want to… like… I want this to be real… oh shoot… I am screwing this up… Ayesha… think… yeah… Sameer… all I want to say…” Ayesha blabbered on…
And suddenly found her words lost…
For the basic reason that her lips were moving….
But in sync with the strange rhythm of Sameer’s lips…
Her eyes were open for a few minutes…
He parted… brushing his nose with hers…
“I love you too Miss. Idiot Non Stop Radio…” he grinned at her red face…
She stepped back… scratching her head…
“Oh shoot.. this was my first kiss…” Ayesha told herself… she closed her eyes… trying to take in a deep breath… she could still feel his warm lips on hers…
And the light stubble touching her chin…
She turned around… Sameer looked at her with uncertainty…
Was he too fast?
“Sorry Ayesha… if like… I was too fast…” Sameer was stopped by a hug…
“Idiot… at least tell me ki you are going to kiss me… I would have been prepared…” Ayesha complained…
Sameer grinned… “Excuse me… you don’t call your boss an idiot…”
Ayesha raised her eyebrow… “Ghar pe bossgiri chalu rakhoge toh raat ko bahar macharo ke saath bitha dungi… so soch lo…”
Sameer chuckled… he pulled Ayesha closer…
“You were talking about kiss right? Being prepared… ok fine… Miss. Ayesha Kapoor… you are going to be kissed again… are you ready?” Sameer tried to give a solemn face… though he ended up laughing…
Ayesha punched him… she wound her arms across his neck… and nodded…
He gently took her lips into his and tasted the most delicious fruit ever…
Well the fruit of love!
After a long time when they were almost breathless Sameer wrapped an arm around Ayesha…
“Chale… they must be finding for us…” they turned to see a shocked Chotu Shree and Liza… their glasses had fallen on the floor…
“SIR.. yeh kya dikha diya hum nadaan bacho ko?” Shree complained…
“Agar koi aur kuch bhi dialogue maare toh main usse 2 mahine ka report writing dunga…”
“Udi Baba… sir… lage raho!” Shree ran off with Liza and Chotu…
They chuckled… after leaving everyone Sameer dropped Ayesha home with a soft kiss…
Very soon he would take her to Rajasthan… to meet his parents…
“Hi…” Ayesha smiled at him…
“Hi…” Sameer said…
Even though they had kissed… it’s not that the minute they would see each other that they would hug again…
Sameer and Ayesha sat on the couch… they discussed a few things…
“Waise… aaj achi lag rahi ho…” Sameer smiled…
“Thank you…” Ayesha murmured…
“Waise Sameer… you know main ek cheez soch rahi thi…” Ayesha said…
“Bolo..” He replied…
“You know… kaise hum.. jo show ke saath shuru hua… woh asliyat main badal gaya… if the same could be said for Arjun Sir and Sakshi…” Ayesha said…
Sameer linked his palm with hers… “I hope too… waise how did you guys know that Sakshi and Arjun had spent the night together?”
“Woh… we knew they were together… and the next day they came to office… Sakshi’s hickeys were seen… actually I had gone to the washroom… and Sakshi was crying… I prodded her… but she kept mum… she stood aside and washed her face… when I saw through the scarf… near her neck and upper chest there were hickeys… and Arjun sir has a tendency to keep his first few buttons open but that day he kept all buttons closed… case was about a girl… and by the time we had reached there… to cover her sir had given his shirt I guess… and being in just a banyan we saw the hickeys on his neck and shoulder…” Ayesha concluded…
“Wait… there were hickeys on Rawte as well?” Sameer looked at Ayesha…
“Yeah… isme surprise ki kya baat hai?” Ayesha asked…
“Matlab ki… you know what Ayesha… I really wish these two stop treating this as a one night stand… I am sure it’s beyond that… I am sure…” Sameer sighed…
Ayesha locked his arm with hers… “Hmm…” she said…
“I really wish we could have done something to like… better the situation…” Sameer sighed…
“Hmm… I really wish… though I have noticed that Arjun sir is very attached to the child… shayad woh hi ek zaria ho un dono ko ek karne ke liye…” Ayesha rested her head on his shoulder…
“Hmm” Sameer replied…
~*~
Rudra smiled to himself as he unpacked his clothes… he was wrong for the first time… his instincts told him that Ayesha and Sameer were faking it… his eyes never misses anything…
But the nervousness on Ayesha’s face during the engagement ceremony made him think otherwise…
He had decided to go towards the garden but turned heavily embarrassed as he saw Ayesha and Sameer involved in a soft yet passionate kiss…
And well that wiped away every iota of doubt…
Perhaps he was wrong about Arjun and Sakshi too.. he didn’t voice it aloud as he was scared for his parents… but then perhaps they are a married couple… and perhaps the child came before time so there were slight adjustment issues…
Somewhere in his heart… he wished that the maybe’s, if’s and but’s came true…
~*~
Chapter 9
He had been driving for a few hours… the kicks… uneasiness… nausea… dizziness… cravings… he missed it all… he missed his child’s growth.
How could she manage it alone…
Having him she still lived like a single mother…
She had stepped into the 7th month.
Just two more months… and their baby would step in…
He wouldn’t miss a single thing of their child… her smiles to her first footsteps… to every single movement.
~*~
Few weeks later…
“Rawte? Are you ok?” Sameer patted Arjun’s shoulder… who was lost in a world of his own…
“Pata nahi Sam… I really don’t know… the child… I don’t know…” Arjun pressed his head…
Sam… after a really long time… perhaps he is stressed…
“Waise aaj Saturday hai… I need to leave soon…” Arjun said…
“Are you still visiting her week wise?” Sameer asked…
“Yeah… kyun?” Arjun asked.
“Arjun… she is in her 8th month.. yaha pe each day makes a difference…” Sameer sighed.
“I am trying my best…” Arjun argued…
“If you just stopped trying and do and say half of the things your heart says… it would be good enough for both of you… anyways you wait… aaj hi Ayesha aayi hai from Rajasthan… she would join you too…” Sameer said.
And just then Ayesha came in… “And am here… chalo na Sam…” then looking at Arjun’s amused face… “Um… Sameer… let’s go over to Sakshi’s na.. wait… ussne mujhe kaha ki aaj ultrasound hai… hum kaise nahi reh sakte… the baby must be all big big now!” Ayesha said excitedly and looked at Arjun’s confused face.
As he drove towards the hospital Sameer asked him.. “Pata nahi tha?”
“Bataya hi nahi…” Arjun said angrily.
He found Sakshi just entering the hospital… “Sakshi!” Arjun yelled.
“Arjun?” she gasped… she rubbed her eyes… she was hallucinating… again…
“Tumne mujhe bataya kyun nahi aaj sonography hai?” Arjun asked her.
Tugging on her blue kurti she bit her lips… her hair was tied in a loose pony tail… her face was bare… without any makeup… yet she looked angelic.
“Maine apne 5th month main kaha tha ki ultrasound hai… but you didn’t even see the reports the next week.. nor did you say anything… toh kyun batati ki aaj ya kal hai… kya farak padta haan?” Sakshi spun around and walked towards the familiar grounds of the hospital.
Arjun stepped back… “You guys go… main nahi aa raha hoon… she doesn’t need me inside… and mujhe dekh ke… she would feel even more upset… and I don’t want to upset her…” Arjun stormed towards his car and left behind a dejected Ayesha and Sameer.
~*~
“Woh nahi aaye?” Sakshi asked Sameer and Ayesha…
“Woh… kaam agaya…” Sameer lied through his teeth…
“Don’t lie… just tell me that he didn’t come…” Sakshi turned her head aside…
“Ek minute… main doctor se baat karti hoon… tum dono yahi rehna…” Sakshi went towards her gynaecologist.
When she saw a familiar face in the corridor…
“Arjun?” she mumbled…
~*~
Arjun went to the hospital and spoke to the receptionist…
He was trying to figure out the gynaecologist’s cabin...
Seeing a few pregnant women he understood he was at the right place.
But then the little smile faded soon enough when he saw that most of them had their partners with them.
One of the women was not listening to her husband and he was making funny faces to cheer her up… the woman was obviously laughing at the other end.
Another one was resting her head on her partner’s shoulder… while he gently stroked the protruding belly.
I was never there for her… she never had anyone to love… indeed… visiting once a week.. argh…
The one near the washroom… they looked like new parents… her face showed that perhaps it would be positive… the husband looked in shock… then hugged her tight.
Arjun stopped on his feet… this is how normal couples react to pregnancy.
The husband seemed to be overjoyed… he kissed her cheek publicly while the wife had a bashful smile… they both had tears of happiness.
“Sakshi?” I looked at her… little shocked…
It was 3 months since that night that Sakshi stepped into my cabin… she had stopped talking to me altogether… and that had killed me…
“Woh… woh…” she fumbled… I noticed her rose cheeks and tears swelling in her eyes…
“Batao… umm… beitho…” I said… seeing her triggered all those memories… I still remembered everything…
Sakshi took the chair… she seemed hesitant… “Arjun… I…” she looked into my eyes… filled with uncertainty… she fumbled with her fingers..
A dread filled my heart…
Perhaps a perception as to what was to happen…
“Arjun… I am.. pregnant…” She looked at me… and tears filled those pretty eyes…
I felt my brain go numb… my throat parched… my heartbeat stopped… I was at a loss of words…
Wait… pregnant… a child… inside…
“It’s mine?” I voiced out and saw fury flash in her eyes…
“Obviously!” She snarled at me…
“Yeh rahe reports… I went to the gynec… check karlo… I just don’t know what to do…” she broke down…
I fumbled with the reports… neither did I know what to do…
I noticed Sakshi standing… and she looked at me in sheer surprise.
~*~
“Aap pehle baar aa rahe hai right?” the kind doctor smiled at Arjun… he nodded.
Sakshi still gaped at Arjun.
“It’s a beautiful sight… aao…” The doctor smiled…
Sakshi still passed a look to Arjun who looked at her uneasily…
Sakshi had been frank to her doctor about everything… so she knew… she didn’t ask any questions…
Sameer and Ayesha were pleasantly surprised to see Arjun coming…
“Chalo Sakshi… aaj toh tumhari jaan toh rockstar ban gayi… kitne log aa gaye hai!” the doctor chuckled which made everyone smile…
The doctor pulled up the shirt and lowered the pant slightly… tucking the tissues at the edge she put a gel… the minute she pressed the gadget on Sakshi’s stomach she heard Arjun hiss…
Everyone turned to him…
“Voh… itna zor se press…” he mumbled…
“Haha… don’t worry Mr.Rawte… your baby and Sakshi… dono ko kuch nahi hoga… haina Sakshi?” Doctor smiled at her…
“Come closer Arjun… baby ab hi dikhega…” the Doctor ushered Arjun to come close…
Arjun sat on a stool next to Sakshi… tentatively… his heart froze when he saw the screen…
“That’s the foot of your baby…” The Doctor whispered to the couple…
His baby… a part of him… his child…
Arjun alternated looks between the huge belly and the screen… he touched the screen… a feeling gushed into his veins…
His child…
He gently held Sakshi’s hand as his eyes watered… he looked at the Doctor… he turned towards Ayesha and Sameer who were looking at the screen in sheer amazement…
Sameer squeezed Arjun’s shoulder… Arjun hastily wiped off the tears…
He turned to see Sakshi crying silently… tears were flowing continuously…
She… carried a part of him…
Arjun’s heart pumped faster…
Sakshi looked at Arjun’s moistened eyes…
They both passed a genuine smile… a heartfelt smile…
Sakshi wiped off her tears…
Arjun linked his palm with Sakshi’s…
“Hey… this is 3D scan… and I must say… your baby looks very happy…” the Doctor smiled… signalling at their linked palms…
Dr. Nazuk Mustafa had been dealing with patients for more than 15 years… during Sakshi’s pregnancy more than a doctor she was a mother for her… Sakshi confided in her… often cried about her relationship… sometimes she would talk of how much she wanted Arjun to be next to her… but sometimes his every visit defined how far he was from her…
As she saw the troubled couple share a few moments… especially link their palms… she wanted them to know that them being happy and together… is what would reflect on the child…
Sakshi was a sad yet strong mother… and Dr. Nazuk was scared of complications… looking at the depression that Sakshi had slipped into… in between Sakshi used to get hallucinations… she at times forgot about her child… she had almost become insane… that is when the case had been passed on to Dr. Nazuk…
She saw a distraught 5 month pregnant Sakshi… who howled day and night… that is when she realized the only way Sakshi would overcome her thoughts about Arjun was to fill her with love of her child…
Dr. Nazuk took longer sonography sessions… making her aware of her baby’s every movement…
Thus she implied today that how much the baby needed both her parents… Arjun and Sakshi… happy together…
Had Arjun been abusive, alcoholic, playboy or dumper… then Nazuk wouldn’t have even thought about implying the importance of both the parents…
But then Arjun was a widow… whose wife was almost stolen from him…
And Sakshi had fallen deep for Arjun… who meant everything to her…
From the way Sakshi spoke as to how Arjun felt towards the child, Nazuk was convinced that the ACP was a good chap… perhaps an emotionally challenged one…
The couple was astounded by the photos… and movement…
As the sonography session got over Dr. Nazuk wiped off the gel and walked towards her cabin…
Arjun removed his palm from Sakshi’s and walked towards the washroom…
He splashed water on his face… his own baby… he saw it breathing… living… how… how could he have missed it…
~*~
Sakshi broke into tears… of happiness by looking at her baby…
“Mera bacha…” she smiled and stroked her belly…
Sameer followed Arjun while an emotional Ayesha wrapped her arms around Sakshi.
“She is beautiful!” Ayesha smiled and Sakshi nodded… crying a little…
“Bas bas… you both looked perfect…” Ayesha kissed her forehead…
Sakshi’s face fell… but it brightened again… the overwhelming joy of the little being in her body… the little chubby baby in her…
As she walked out towards the cabin Arjun came towards her… he saw the baby kicking slightly.
He walked up to Sakshi… “Woh... bachi kick kar rahi hai…” Arjun smiled.
“Pata hai…” she chuckled…
The two sat into the cabin while Dr. Nazuk filled them with necessary details…
Before Arjun went Dr. Nazuk called Arjun.
“Hi Arjun, am Dr. Nazuk Mustafa… I just wanted to tell you something… that…” Dr. Mustafa fumbled slightly.
Arjun turned around… the glow wiped out of his face seeing the doctor fumbled…
Was his baby ok?
“Doctor… is everything okay with my child? Koi khatra toh nahi na?” Arjun asked her… his worry lines increasing…
“Bachi theek hai… toh it’s a surprise… by the way Arjun… it isn’t all about the child now…” Dr. Mustafa looked at him… Arjun frowned…
“I know it might be difficult for you… but then… caring for Sakshi is equally or perhaps more important than the baby… the mother will handle the child… maa main itni shakti toh hoti hi hai… iss waqt bache ko nahi… maa ko aadar ki zaroorat hoti hai…” Dr. Mustafa sighed…
“Who said I don’t care for her… Doctor… par Sakshi ko kya problem ho sakti hai? Aur bacha theek hai… surprise? Sakshi ke liye main sab kuch toh kar raha hoon…” Arjun justified…
Damn It! Why does everyone in the world think I don’t care for the only woman who holds an unnamed connection with me… who means something more than our baby’s mother…
“Aap kya kar rahe hai… zara humain bhi bataye…” Dr. Mustafa smirked a little… the care in his voice wasn’t unnoticed… but she knew that now Sakshi was very delicate… emotionally… she wouldn’t be able to figure these tiny signs… she just needed to be loved…
“Main hospital ke saare bills pay kar raha hoon… rent pay kar raha hoon… ghar ke kharche… kapdon ke kharche… I visit her weekly twice… I came to the hospital today… in front of her parents I supported her… I am doing the best I can Dr. Mustafa… aap ko shayad pata ho humare baare main that we are not…” Arjun was cut off by Dr. Mustafa…
“That you both are not lovers… I know Arjun… but don’t tell me to believe that you had or have nothing for her… ssh… don’t deny that… apne aap se jhoot bolke farak nahi padta… now coming to what all you have done… woh khaane main kitne kharche karti hai?” Dr. Mustafa asked…
Arjun was silent and recollected… “Umm… 500 se 1000 rupees… yehi hai…” he said…
“Arjun… didn’t you find this weird… ek pregnant aurat uske usual se thoda zyaada khati hai… not junk..healthy food but thoda zyaada because she doesn’t just feeds herself but her baby too… un chand paison main all she can manage is dal roti aur ek sabsi… theek tarha se fruits bhi nahi aa payenge… tum jo usse weekly dekhne jaate ho… itna dekha hoga right?” Dr. Mustafa asked…
Arjun just stood… slightly shocked…
“Maine notice nahi kiya…” he almost whispered…
When a memory struck him hard…
“Beta… tera fridge main toh zyaada kuch hai hi nahi… socha tha tu ghar main se kuch kha ke jaa…” Shubha said…
Arjun cursed himself… all he ever did was sit in her house and have tea whose smell makes her nauseous…
I am a terrible person… I am terrible…
“Dekho Arjun… stop cursing yourself… make her happy… and also… feel the joy of having a baby with her… it’s important... you love your baby … at least tell her that much… ” Dr. Nazuk patted his shoulder… he looked at the motherly woman…
“Dr… main jaa raha hoon… just inform me if anything happens ok…” Arjun said and she nodded…
He ran out of the hospital… there were so many things to do!
He met Sakshi on the way…
“Umm Sakshi… main iss week aa nahi pavunga… next week okay?” he told Sakshi whose face fell slightly…
“Jaisi tumhari marzi…” she said softly and walked off…
~*~
Chapter 10
“Damn It!” Rathore cursed for the billionth time to get a glare from Ayesha…
“Acha sorry…” he said…
Well why wouldn’t he curse… it was 45 minutes since ETF’s best team members stood confused… in fact the most difficult case in their life…
And 1 hour since the most famous Assistant Commissioner of Police Arjun Suryakant Rawte stood perplexed…
“Sameer… damn it ko chod… mujhe kuch samaj nahi aa raha hai…” Arjun muttered…
“Isse toh case solve karna hi behtar hai…” Sameer muttered…
Arjun turned towards them for the fifth time…
“Acha… listen… pink with white dots, yellow with pink dots ya phir blue and pink dots is the best night suit for meri princess?” Arjun held the three night suits…
Yep… the great ACP Arjun Rawte was stuck in a baby shop - Mom and Me , for the past one hour… trying to figure out the best night suit for their baby…
Ayesha held her head… “Arrey Arjun sir I have an idea… aap pehle saare choose karo jo aapko acha lagta hai… aur main aur Sameer bhi kuch kapde select karte hai… issme se phir hum log inky pinky ponky karke bill pay kar denge… anyways chutki ko sab kuch pehenna hi padega na!”
Arjun held his chin… “Par Ayesha… suppose maine jo khareeda… woh Sakshi ko pasand nahi aaya toh… the mother must be happy…” Arjun said to see a surprised Sameer and Ayesha…
“No issues… iss haalat main Sakshi ko sab kuch pasand aayega… kapde le lo… phir side waala shop main jaake we would buy cot, toys, and everything else… okay?” They smiled at his concern and went to buy things…
Cream Sections…
“Sameer yeh ek cream le lo… Sakshi ki stretch marks ko reduce karne ke liye… haan yeh baby ke liye anti rash… woh diaper se jo aata hai na… woh le lo… arrey… yeh sab tumhare haath main kya hai?” Ayesha mused to find Sameer filled with cream bottles…
“Woh… I took moisturising creams… for both mumma and baby, plus I took powder, then nourishing oil - woh bache ki zaroorat padti hai na, then soft napkins, you know… wipes… phir I have taken around 6 types of creams… so it would last all year around… then I wandered off to the hygiene care… toh picked up shampoos, soaps, sponges and also you know what…” Sameer smiled…
Ayesha just looked at him emotionally.. tears formed at the corner of her eyes…
“I got a rubber ducky too!” Sameer beamed… “You know what… main Sakshi ke liye best bhai banunga… aur…” inching closer to Ayesha…
“Tumhare liye best pati… aur humare hone waale bache ke liye best papa…” Sameer smiled…
When he noticed Ayesha’s tears… dropping the things into the shopping bag he asked her…
“Woh Sameer… I should have told you this before… maybe you should reconsider… our marriage…” Ayesha spoke softly… rubbing off her tears…
“What? No way… and Ayesha… if you need time… I mean… we can wait… am still just 32… and you are 28…” Sameer held her hand…
“It’s not that Sameer… it’s that… main maa nahi ban sakti… I can’t hold a baby… I mean… you would make a great dad… aur main.. I am...” Ayesha said and broke into tears…
Sameer looked at the once strong lady in front who know hastily tried to control her tears… he took a deep breath and thought of something… he was shocked indeed… but then no… that didn’t mean he would let her feel low…
He cupped her cheeks slowly… “But that doesn’t stop you from making yourself a great mother does it?” he said slowly…
She looked at him… her eyebrows knotted in a frown… “Ayesha… maa ya papa banne ke liye bache ko paida karna zaroori nahi hota… as we can’t have a child… there are so many babies who lose their families on birth… their mothers on birth… don’t you think we are made to look after those babies? Don’t you think one of them is our child?” He kissed her tenderly on her forehead…
Ayesha looked at the man with her… true… a real man isn’t one who is rough and tough… rather someone who is soft, gentle and loving… that’s a man…
“But Sameer I am not a complete woman…” she rasped…
Sameer sighed… he looked into her eyes… “You, my love, are the most wonderful and glorious complete woman that I have ever met in my life… you are an excellent lady, a fabulous cop, a loving daughter, a beautiful girlfriend… am sure a compassionate wife, a to be kind mother… what more do I want… you are just perfect Ayesha… we don’t have to produce kids to be a complete man or woman… it’s our relationships who make us complete… I love you Ayesha… I truly do… and Ayesha… you were a complete woman the minute you became an established officer… me being in love with you and you being my wife… it’s an added feather!”
Ayesha hugged him tightly…
She rubbed off her tears… “I am crying like an idiot… sheesh… kya hoga mera…” Ayesha chuckled…
As Sameer picked up the shopping bag he laughed… “Waise Ayesha… if you still feel incomplete as a woman I know one last thing that can complete you…” Sameer smirked…
“Kya?” Ayesha asked innocently…
He went closer to her ear “Bedroom aa jao… sab samjha dunga!” to see a mortified Ayesha looking at him… she hit him with a cream bottle…
“Yikes! Arrey aaj hi aa jao… actually mera hi benefit hua na… ab araam se kahi pe bhi hum shuru ho sakte hai… danger ki baat hi nahi hai!” Sameer joked to be hit by a laughing Ayesha…
He wound his arm around Ayesha’s neck, the happy couple moved on to buy other tiny stuffs…
They were one of the few lucky couples who found their talisman of love amongst themselves…
(Dear Readers… I specially wrote this for a reason… recently I came across a case where the wife was forced to see the second marriage of her husband because she couldn’t not harbour a child… she was tortured by her in-laws for being a “baanj” sort of a thing and people made snide remarks about her… after the birth of the child from the second wife the first one was thrown out of the house to live on the streets… thoroughly mistreated and humiliated she was left to fend for herself... it was an NGO who found her and rescued her…
My note to all those present out there : A woman is complete when she is a loving daughter, a funny friend, a kind sister, a well accomplished and educated person…
Marriage is for love and a companion… it is a holy sacred bond but it does not signify the completion of a woman… nor does the ability to produce kids do…
Remember… loving yourself… and being loved… this is what makes the difference… maternal instincts arises from heart to heart relation… same goes for every relation in this world…
Love ya… all the women and men who agree with my views… tight hugs.)
~*~
Arjun dropped Ayesha and Sameer to their respective houses… as he drove back home his mind went back to what he read in Dad’s zone…
It froze his mind for a mini second…
Dad Zone
I smiled like an idiot seeing this… I wanted to see what all was written when my gaze went to another zone…
Dad's Role in Pregnancy
So you can’t physically carry your baby in your belly the way your wife can, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be an active participant in the pregnancy anyway. Here are a few things you can do to feel ‘in sync’ with your wife and baby from conception time….
I continued to read further… the shopping bags were in my hand… I was intrigued… I mean really what all can a father do during pregnancy?
Give massages when required and a tip is that they are required ALL the time!
Is that why she walks slowly and sometimes cringes in pain?
Paint her toenails because she can’t see them…
Is she supposed to be pampered so much… i frowned… perhaps…
Go to all the appointments, scans and checkups with her to be a part of the process
I gulped slightly… I had missed everything except day before yesterday’s… I bit my lip…
Read up on Pregnancy and Parenting related information. Forewarned is forearmed!
Strange… I didn’t check on this ever… is it important to know the changes in her body?
Attend Childbirth Education classes so you are equipped to be her coach in labour
Labour! Will I be in the room… no way… she wouldn’t want me… perhaps… or wait… maybe…
Get the camera (both video and still) in gear so you can catch all the action for your memories
Wait… I never thought… that how would I be next to my baby after she is born…
Be her knight in shining armour – ward off all negativity from parents, in- laws and everybody else
It was Sameer and Ayesha who saved her that day… it should have been me…
Take wifey on a romantic holiday for two – an ode to your past and a promise for tomorrow
… … …
Run out in the middle of the night and search for whatever she’s craving for (you’ll earn serious brownie points)
Did the ice cream mean so much for her?
Research the nursery you are putting together – she doesn’t want the details of how to put what together. She just wants it and wants it done. Do it.
Nursery… what all does it have? Wait… baby would be in her house or mine… oh God…
Indulge her – she’s carrying your baby inside her. That’s huge responsibility
Responsibility… not a duty… and I took it as a duty… sigh…
He came back from a reverie as a car honked…
His own words had answered to his questions…
True…
What all fathers can do during pregnancy…
He would visit Sakshi soon…
He had not promised on being a companion… but he never knew that he would turn out to be such an irresponsible father…
He called Sameer…
~*~
Sakshi got up from her little afternoon siesta…
Caressing her belly a little… she gave a quick flying kiss to her baby…
Her baby responded with a little kick…
“Meri angel… you mean so much to me… though… I don’t know… mumma papa ek saath shayad nahi rahenge… but haan… mumma papa dono bohot hi pyaar karenge tujhse…”
She kept on whispering soft sweet words to her baby… a glow filled her face…
Her baby meant the world for her… She stretched her back and pressed her hips…
Her due date was almost close…
She smiled at the thought… her little baby would be bundled in her arms soon…
She went towards the fridge… she took a glass of cold milk… and an Oreo packet…
Eating milk dunked Oreos she closed her eyes and felt warm tears on her cheeks as she felt her baby moving within her… she patted her belly gently…
Motherhood…
It meant everything for her… more than Arjun… perhaps…
She was interrupted from her small snack as the door rung…
Who came? It was 8 o clock…
She walked slightly towards the peephole… and to her shock she found Ayesha standing…
“Ayesh?” Sakshi mused…
“Heylo!!” Ayesha hugged her sidewards… “Ab toh mini princess ke wajeh se tujhe ek seedha hug de hi nahi sakti main!” Ayesha chuckled… she bent a little…
“Hey baby… Maasi idhar… kaisi hai tu? Dhinchak?” Ayesha chuckled…
“Acha chalo… andar toh baithe… by the way… I would like to say something… Sam and Arjun sir are coming up…” Ayesha told a semi shocked Sakshi…
“What?” Sakshi scratched her head…
“What what! Yum Oreos!” Ayesha plopped herself on the couch…
“Aye uninvited guest… bata toh zara… Sameer aur Arjun kya aa rahe hai? All ok na? Kuch case ka hai kya?” Sakshi asked when Sameer came in carrying huge packets…
“Haan bohot important case… by the way… let me say hi to my little cutie pie… hello Mausa here… kaisi ho jaan!” Sameer smiled and walked in… to be followed by Arjun… who too came in with huge boxes and packets…
“Arjun kaunsa case solve karna hai?” Sakshi asked at Arjun…
“Arrey tum log shift ho chuka hai kya? Itne boxes aur case… mera dimaag main kuch nahi beith raha hai!” Sakshi told and sat on the couch…
“Actually Sakshi saheba… we just realized that you are a few weeks away from the big day… aur kuch secret baat karni hai!” Ayesha said…
“Wait… you guys have come here for this!” Sakshi held her head… the trio nodded…
“Aur yeh dabbas…” Sakshi eyed the boxes…
“Woh baad main!” Sameer grinned…
Sakshi eyed Arjun slightly… he just looked at her… and scratched his head…
“Ahem… woh Sakshi… actually we bought a few things…” Arjun said..
“Kiske liye?” Sakshi asked…
“For mumma and baby!” Ayesha hugged her…
Sakshi half smiled…
Arjun crouched near one shopping bag and opened it… many clothes came by… “Sakshi.. yeh na newborn se leke 3 months tak jayenge… toh I bought all the stuffs our baby would like…” he said… he came near Sakshi and showed her the tiny tiny dresses…
“You bought everything…” Sakshi asked and he nodded…
“Acha hai…” she said quietly…
Arjun frowned…
That’s all she had to say… nothing else… doesn’t this mean anything to her…
He looked aside… hurt.. the excitement wiped out from his face… he just held the dress in his hands…
“Sakshi kya baat hai…” Sameer patted her back..
“Woh.. kuch nahi…” Sakshi said quietly… the little pink dress in her hands…
As usual… this was told to me… I never had a choice… everything was always his decision… not that I minded… but… this… it’s every mother’s dream to shop for her baby… along with him… I wanted to buy her water bottle.. her diapers… everything…
“Woh…” she spoke up sensing the silence.. she didn’t want them… especially him to feel as if she was being ungrateful…
“Sab akele hi khareed liye?” She asked Arjun…
“Nahi mere saath Sameer aur Ayesha bhi the… kyun kya hua?” Arjun asked…
She fidgeted with the little thread of her shirt…
“Mujhe kyun nahi leke gaye? I too wanted...” she asked him… a wry smile forming on her lips...
Arjun found himself at a loss of words… he… well…
It didn’t cross his mind that she too would want to buy clothes and things for their child…
Once again he had only thought about himself… his wishes…
Sakshi sniffed back her little tears before anyone would notice… she felt herself getting detached from everything…
But she couldn’t hold back herself…
“At least ek baar mujhse puch sakte the na Arjun… humesha toh yehi karte aa rahe ho…” Sakshi wiped her tears aside…
“Ok Sakshi… wait… calm down… it’s not as if you can’t shop… chalo hum shop karke aate hain…” Arjun told her…
“I am tired of you taking decisions for me Arjun! Jab bhi mann kiya aa jao… jab mann kiya mat aao… mann kiya toh hospital pe sonography dekhne aa jao… aaj tak pucha hai kabhi mera reports ka kya aaya hai haan?” Sakshi barked at him…
It shocked Arjun to the core…
“Calm down… Sakshi… it’s not good for you…” Ayesha hugged her…
“I don’t care Ayesh if it’s not good for me... as if he cares! Araam se jaake shop kar liya… mere koi wishes nahi hai kya mere bache ke liye? Woh kaisi kapde pehnengi… kaunse diapers laun? Kaise bottles ya feeders laun… nahi… (turning towards Arjun) sab sirf aur sirf tum hi sochte reh gaye right! Mom dad aur bhai ke saamne dam ghut raha tha… jhut pe jhut… tumhe kya farak padta hai ki main faint hoon ya nahi… bohot baar zameen pe gir gayi hoon main… sahi kaha bhai ne mujhe… main har roz ek chitthi bhej ti thi… par no… I forgot to send… why? Oh… yeah cause I was busy being an unwanted single mother with an unwanted child…” Sakshi yelled loudly…
She broke the glass pieces around her…
“I hate myself! Mujhe apne aap se nafrat ho rahi hai… argh… and Arjun… mujhe tumhara shakal dekhna bhi nahi… naahi Ayesha ka… hume shadi shuda keh di tune! Mangalsutra… sindoor… iska arth pata hai tujhe! Aur meri bachi… uske baad future kya hoga? Papa hai par pati nahi… society toh kisi ko nahi chodti na! Whenever I see myself in the mirror… meri bachi toh nazar aati hai… along with that… I see his guilt laden face… ki usne kya kiya… uska ek regret… shakal pe dikhayi deti hai… I HATE MYSELF…” Sakshi screamed on top of her voice… breaking everything aside… throwing away tiny showpieces…
Ayesha and Sameer were shocked by her behaviour…
Arjun threw the dresses aside and grabbed Sakshi’s arm… he was fuming in anger… yet… yet… he knew she was right…
His anger evaporated watching her tear stricken face…
“Nahi… I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU! NAHI YEH CHEEZEIN… KUCH BHI NAHI… I HATE YOU… I HATE MYSELF… I HATE THIS CHILD…” Sakshi screamed loudly…
“SAKSHI!” Arjun barked at a tone higher than hers… she looked at him… her eyes puffy… he just hugged her tightly… she beat him repeatedly…
“NO… Jao… tumhe nahi dekhna… jao…” Sakshi punched him on his chest… Ayesha cupped her mouth in her palm and controlled her tears…
Sameer however immediately called up her gynaecologist.. she was turning hysterical and Sameer got scared of that…
Arjun tightly hugged Sakshi… till she gave up punching him and sobbed on his chest… crying out loud…
He picked her up and kept her on the couch… his arms still cocooned around her…
His face was fear stricken… he was tensed, worried, anxious… she clutched his shirt and sobbed uncontrollably…
“Ssh… nahi rote… nahi rote Sakshi.. theek hai main chala javunga… hum sab jayenge… but tum please rona band karo…” he told her…
She sobbed again… I bloo*y don’t want you to go! I want you to stay next to me and look after me…
Her eyes screamed at his eyes…
And he read her fear…
I will be here Sakshi… trust me…
And for the first time he voiced out his words… she looked into his eyes… she was about to move away but he pulled her closer…
He cupped her face slightly… wiping away her tears… then kept her head back at his chest… he rubbed her back continuously… he needed her to calm down…
When he recalled her high BP medicines…
“Sakshi… tumhare high BP medicines kaha hai?” he asked her…
“Nahi khaana…” she told..
“Sakshi!” he glared at her…
“Kitchen main… 3rd counter 2nd shelf…” she mumbled… hiding her face in his chest… she missed this…
Being protected…
She tried to wrap her arms around him… pulling him as close as possible…
Ayesha gave him the medicine… she walked towards the inside rooms… where Sameer was… to give the couple the little privacy time…
“Sakshi… davai le lo…” he said softly…
He felt her lips mumble a no against his chest… he closed his eyes a little… he stroked her hair…
“Sakshi… davai le lo…” he said gently…
She rubbed her nose against his chest… signalling a no…
He drew in a deep breath… for a few minutes he just caressed her head… she was suffering internally so much!
“Sakshi… woh bachi...” he said and that worked… she immediately turned her pink face towards him… her hands still gripping his shirt…
“Kya hua bachi ko?” she asked… fear in her eyes…
“Bachi darr gayi… bohot darr gayi…” Arjun told her solemnly… cupping her cheeks gently and using a tone he would use while explaining to a five year old baby.
Sakshi touched her stomach consciously… rubbing her palms over them…
He stroked her belly gently… he was scared that her yelling would take a toll on their baby…
He rubbed her stomach for a few more minutes…
“Main bohot buri mumma hoon… main buri mumma hoon…” Sakshi said softly and weeped again…
“Sakshi please mat ro… she will get more scared…” he cupped her cheeks… she stopped immediately…
“Ab ek achi bachi banke take medicines… jaldi…” Arjun opened her mouth and gave her the medicines…
Sakshi felt conscious of being in Arjun’s embrace… but he wouldn’t let her leave… by now he knew this much… apart from whatever she said minutes back… she kept on swallowing her thought and feelings…
“Sleep…” he told gently… she looked into his eyes…
He took her head and placed it on his chest… he shushed her to sleep…
He looked at the ceiling above… a little surprised as Sakshi literally snuggled into him…
He realised how frail and delicate she was…
All she needed was a little pampering… a little care…
He gulped as Sameer’s words rung in his head… if he just stopped trying and did half of the things his heart thought…
Things would have been different…
As Sakshi’s gentle puffs of breath fell on his chest… he finally drew in a breath…
It was never her fault…
He kept on being stoic… missed on every little emotions… that could have made a difference…
As he saw the heavily pregnant woman sleeping on him he sighed…
Now he realised that Sakshi being upset took away his breath… because he feared her safety too…
He stroked her head… she wasn’t as strong as she perceived herself to be…
He wouldn’t leave her… he… his child… and Sakshi…
She isn’t an unwanted mother… and certainly our child isn’t unwanted…
I might be guilty for the night… but my child?
No… I love baby…
If only… if only I could say…
I never wanted her to hate herself because of me…
I never wanted her to be in such mess…
If only things could be better… if only…
A tear trickled down his cheek…
~*~
Oh my god, this is so heart touching.
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